tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post3383419178098911383..comments2023-10-30T00:51:36.361-11:00Comments on Diary of a Desperate Exmoor Woman: Would you 'go to heaven' with your child?Exmoorjanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230395732150659356noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-39503396671592757382010-11-29T12:13:41.278-11:002010-11-29T12:13:41.278-11:00And I meant 'the effect Christianity & oth...And I meant 'the effect Christianity & other religions have had on our culture' not 'religion'!likeacrowhttp://www.twitter.com/likeacrownoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-21128176400320324482010-11-29T12:09:07.328-11:002010-11-29T12:09:07.328-11:00Broken link there, sorry!Broken link there, sorry!likeacrowhttp://www.twitter.com/likeacrownoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-62466823590700427182010-11-29T12:07:04.988-11:002010-11-29T12:07:04.988-11:00I do think it's very strange to send your kids...I do think it's very strange to send your kids to Sunday school & tell them there's a god when you're leaning towards the atheist side of agnostic. Why would one not simply impart good values without the reliance on a 'god' that is one of many gods from one of many religions constructed by man?<br />You can still have an awareness & understanding of the effect Christianity & other religions have had on our religion without favouring one over the other, which, to me at least, would be the most reasonable approach. <br />Book sounds good though!likeacrowhttp://wordpress.com/smellmycheesenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-30105445037928227702010-09-05T01:33:39.422-11:002010-09-05T01:33:39.422-11:00A very good interview Jane on such a poignant subj...A very good interview Jane on such a poignant subject.<br /><br />Cannot ever imagine what it can be like to lose one's child, I have dealt a lot with death and the laying out of them when in nursing, but one's own child I could not come to terms with.<br /><br />We just hope that our children live on before we die, if not (God forbid), how could I ever come to terms with the heartache as I turned away to leave them there if they did.<br /><br />My children are more to me than life itself, I know we bring them into the world and they are not ours for ever, that they should go on to enjoy their life's rich pattern and we should ourselves along the way. <br /><br />If we saw our own child drowning, or come to that someone else's child, what would we do. My first instinct without a doubt would be to save them no matter what, sparing not a thought for myself.<br /><br />This interview and the subject matter has made me sit up and think deeply about it, and I shall be ordering Charlotte's book.CAMILLAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04741990891794651299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-28888091804926723842010-09-02T10:52:16.197-11:002010-09-02T10:52:16.197-11:00Sounds like a very powerful and interesting book, ...Sounds like a very powerful and interesting book, but as one of my biggest fears is something happening to my children, I'm not sure I could read it. Wonderful interview and interesting responses xAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10754562741952800845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-48110636964571776672010-08-29T23:22:25.716-11:002010-08-29T23:22:25.716-11:00I love the description of the body being like an o...I love the description of the body being like an overcoat. An interesting and thought provoking read I am sure but I would shy away from reading it I am too emotional, would be in tears the whole way through it. PosiePosiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12844732200803572416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-58886804082004003952010-08-27T03:22:05.050-11:002010-08-27T03:22:05.050-11:00If only more people "on the atheist side of a...If only more people "on the atheist side of agnostic" had Charlotte's balanced and mature approach to religion - her tolerance for others' beliefs, her understanding of the influence of those beliefs on our shared heritage, and her desire for her kids to develop that same understanding. <br /><br />This interview, and Charlotte's response to some of the subsequent comments, make me think far more of her as a parent and very strongly inclined to read her book.Bennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-71773159216277966562010-08-26T05:34:49.699-11:002010-08-26T05:34:49.699-11:00Hi
I think I should probably bow out of any row o...Hi<br /><br />I think I should probably bow out of any row on this. But thank you for taking the time to comment.<br /><br />Parenthood is a tricky road, with many choices of path. The same can be said with religion. We're all just struggling to do what we feel is best for our children. Clearly, there are different ideas on this and I am sure that it is possible to raise good, caring, moral children in a number of different ways.<br /><br />Best wishes<br /><br />cxCharlotte Castlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11435934062256119734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-81418666771729897192010-08-26T04:03:04.146-11:002010-08-26T04:03:04.146-11:00Dear all....love that this post is creating debate...Dear all....love that this post is creating debate... I am going to be away for a week on holiday so please do continue to discuss but may I ask that it's kept calm and respectful of other people's opinions? Aware that whenever religion comes into the mix, things have the propensity to get heated!Exmoorjanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09230395732150659356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-42854270175911102392010-08-26T03:51:33.021-11:002010-08-26T03:51:33.021-11:00HI Legend, I did not mean to imply that anyone'...HI Legend, I did not mean to imply that anyone's child is not having values imparted to them by their parents, what I mean is that the reasoning behind your values are different if you are a christian. I would consider that I hold to many of the so called 'christian' values, and I hope imparted them in some sense to my children, but I would not call that giving them a christian upbringing. I hope i imparted *my* values to my children, wherever they might have originated or supposedly belong to (I don't like the way religion seems to imply it has the monopoly on certain values). I also thought it was strange for her to "keep her skepticism to herself", that too is a mistake, children need to know that there are differences of opinion, and also that adults do not have all the answers and have doubts about what might be right or wrong on some issues and in some situations.<br />with best wishes<br />martinemartinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14260048849955077472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-53789432852687283522010-08-26T01:01:46.489-11:002010-08-26T01:01:46.489-11:00Great interview, ladies. It's always wonderful...Great interview, ladies. It's always wonderful to get an insight into other writer's thinking about their work.JD Revenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00720174092160952785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-90293652224028859382010-08-26T00:50:17.849-11:002010-08-26T00:50:17.849-11:00Martine--What a ridiculous and small-minded commen...Martine--What a ridiculous and small-minded comment to make. Agnostic means that you question the nature and existence of God. In order for one to have faith, you can't be certain that God exists. Everyone should be questioning. You can only be certain of your faith. And to be so ignorant as to think that someone can't impart values to their children without being Christian is about the most idiotic thing I've ever heard in my life. I would presume this author is able to teach her children humility (which you clearly don't have or understand) since she is able to admit that she doesn't understand the full nature of a complicated and unknown creator. She probably is able to teach her children to be open minded (which you clearly are not) because she is able to accept that people can have ideas and understandings of the universe that differ from her own. She probably is able to teach her children to be respectful (which you have already proven you are not) because she could have taken the same low, judgmental road you did in her response to you. She behaved as a follower of Christ should--with patience, empathy, and kindness to someone who didn't deserve it. She was the better person in this scenario. In that one comment you insulted every other belief system other than your own by saying non-Christians can not raise children with values. I seriously question the values you are imparting to your children. I'm sure you will raise dutiful bigots.<br /><br />And for heaven sakes, what does this have to do with the author's ability to write a book?!?? I read the book and it's brilliant.Candice Adamsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-7106091722690844062010-08-25T22:42:38.160-11:002010-08-25T22:42:38.160-11:00I think I left out GoldenGirl and Naomi - whom I j...I think I left out GoldenGirl and Naomi - whom I just want to thank for taking the time to read the interview. I do hope that you feel able to give Simon's Choice a go - as Jane says, it really isn't as sad as it sounds!<br /><br />Thank you again Jane for a great interview with some really interesting questions.<br /><br />cxCharlotte Castlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11435934062256119734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-30954802840826495482010-08-25T22:38:46.454-11:002010-08-25T22:38:46.454-11:00Me again, part 2!
asmallhandinmine - that's a...Me again, part 2!<br /><br />asmallhandinmine - that's a lovely idea, a star.<br /><br />Mary Poppins - I'm so sorry you had to go through that.<br /><br />More Than Just A Mother - Again, I'm so sorry that you have been through this. Certainly, I cannot profess to know how YOU feel and felt, but I do maintain that through the writing process and the soul searching that that entails, I do have a good idea of how I would feel. I lived, ate, breathed and slept this book for over 3 months - and I got to know my character's feelings very well.<br /><br />Alison Cross - seriously, it's not that bad! I don't dwell on Sarah much - it is more about Simon's day-to-day battles.<br /><br />Rob-Bear - Simon's offer to 'go with' his daughter is because he believes in heaven and is distraught about the idea of his daughter being alone. He can almost deal with her death, but can't cope with the idea of her being somewhere alone and scared.<br /><br />Legend - me too! I still have values!! ;)<br /><br />Oh dear - have I missed anyone out?<br /><br />CxCharlotte Castlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11435934062256119734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-24733064505514917472010-08-25T22:22:09.381-11:002010-08-25T22:22:09.381-11:00Hi Martine
I'm not sure that my doubt about t...Hi Martine<br /><br />I'm not sure that my doubt about the existance of God means that I don't have 'values'. Certainly I agree with the 10 Commandments (though I suspect you could do away with them all with a simple 'Do As You Would Be Done To'. I was brought up a Catholic and whilst I'm a little unsure about whether there is a God, I'm still a perfectly good person and I tell my daughter that there is a God. To be honest, I do an awful lot more to help others than some of the church goers I know.<br /><br />Dan - I might try that!<br /><br />Suzie - I did read a lot of accounts of people who had been through this and also spent some time on child bereavement forums.<br /><br />Not sure it will let me leave a comment this long so I shall come back and respond more in another...Charlotte Castlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11435934062256119734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-36765505152368599472010-08-25T20:18:12.579-11:002010-08-25T20:18:12.579-11:00The book sounds fascinating, but I couldn't ev...The book sounds fascinating, but I couldn't even get past the tagline without tears springing up! Losing a child has to be one of the most emotive subjects there is. A brave book to write!<br /><br />x x xNaomi Devlinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07282911907338291478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-54864310759196045232010-08-25T18:21:54.316-11:002010-08-25T18:21:54.316-11:00Brilliant interview, Jane. I'm sure the book w...Brilliant interview, Jane. I'm sure the book would make a fascinating read.<br /><br />Having spent a lifetime visiting the dying, burying the dead (from infants to elders), and comforting the grieving, the book sounds a bit too much like work. <br /><br />Dying with my child? I think not. I really don't see the purpose, especially if one believes that the child might be in much better hands than mine.Rob-bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00171692478879522588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-28528763181179039382010-08-25T10:11:10.099-11:002010-08-25T10:11:10.099-11:00Interesting concept and good interview, Jane!
For...Interesting concept and good interview, Jane!<br /><br />For me, it's too horrible a thought to even contemplate, even in the abstract.<br /><br />Out there tonight there is a woman who is HAVING to endure the death of her child and I can't bring myself to stand in her place, even hypothetically.<br /><br />I'd be a blubbering wreck if I read this book! I cry at adverts :-)<br /><br />Ali xAlison Crosshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06565962059926865121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-81029641692068450062010-08-25T09:41:32.950-11:002010-08-25T09:41:32.950-11:00When my son was 3, I had a very vivid dream. I dre...When my son was 3, I had a very vivid dream. I dreamt we were both in a car accident, and when I awoke in hospital, attached to lifesupport, I was informed that my son had not survived. I asked them to switch off the machine so I could go with him as he would be lost without his daddy. Apart from waking up in a cold sweat, it made me consider what type of supreme being would take a small child away from his parents and subject them both to an eternity of torment. <br />To Martine's point, I am an atheist, if one needs a label, but my son is brought up with values inherant in all major religions, including christianity. My lack of belief in a deity does not diminish these values.Wally Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05992375461165449990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-43173214431551328692010-08-25T09:24:19.654-11:002010-08-25T09:24:19.654-11:00Mary: thank you so much for sharing that... Do you...Mary: thank you so much for sharing that... Do you follow Crystal Jigsaw - she would have a lot to say about orbs...<br /><br />Emily: I can't begin to get my head round how it must feel - sometimes I think about it but my mind pulls away, in sheer terror. Like you, my first thought is that I wouldn't want to stay around (except, as you so rightly say, it would be too cruel for the others).Exmoorjanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09230395732150659356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-14642523491726730832010-08-25T09:03:00.090-11:002010-08-25T09:03:00.090-11:00Gosh, I've got so much to say on this I'm ...Gosh, I've got so much to say on this I'm not sure I can fit it all into a comment. <br /><br />I'm very wary of people who say they "now understand what it's like to lose a child". I'm not certain any of us possibly can until it happens. <br /><br />My son died three years ago. Would I have gone with him? Like a shot - if I hadn't have had so many other people who loved me and who I loved right back. <br /><br />I don't think you can generalise either about the 'right way' to deal with people who are grieving. What was right for me on the Monday would have been wrong on the Tuesday and right again on Wednesday. <br /><br />I'll read this book, although I can't guarantee finishing it. Thanks for a great post. <br /><br />Emily.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-24993123214173100732010-08-25T07:52:42.030-11:002010-08-25T07:52:42.030-11:00Ohooo poignant subject. We experienced much pain a...Ohooo poignant subject. We experienced much pain and sadness when our son was born stillborn in 2005, I wanted our nearly four year old daughter to meet him and she spent some time cuddling him and talking to him. I think children grasp alot more than maybe we give them credit for. Although she never got to know her little brother, she often talks of him and he is buried in our pretty village church and I have to say on many photographs of my DD there are orb type visions, and I wonder if it could be him watching over her. Ohoooo have to sign off soon, getting motional, I often wonder whether we are too open in my family about such things, but it is an experience that has effected our family so feel in my heart i have done the right thing by letting her meet him, hold him, experience him. she shall have those special memories for ever XXMary Poppinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02483149363434709826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-76434721139531299502010-08-25T07:27:52.494-11:002010-08-25T07:27:52.494-11:00Martine: don't apologise - I love hearing all ...Martine: don't apologise - I love hearing all points of view, and sure Charlotte will too. It's a whole other question, really - how one brings up one's children spiritually. Too long and involved for a comment. Another blog post, methinks.<br /><br />asmallhand: Ah, I don't know either. Not sure I have any answers which is why I'm interested to see what everyone thinks.<br /><br />Dan: you have done the impossible - made me snort with laughter on what has been a really grim day! <br /><br />Suzie: I found that amazing too. Quite an extraordinary feat.Exmoorjanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09230395732150659356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-24472223394578223772010-08-25T07:23:34.936-11:002010-08-25T07:23:34.936-11:00I think it is amazing that she has been been able ...I think it is amazing that she has been been able to write without talking to parents of children with leukemia. I wouldn't feel confident enough to assume I had sufficient empathy to really understand how one would react in that situation. Great interview though.Suzie Groganhttp://www.nowrigglingoutofwriting.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4677133322409652783.post-84119250490402802182010-08-25T07:20:25.452-11:002010-08-25T07:20:25.452-11:00I remember this super book from Authonomy.
My mot...I remember this super book from Authonomy. <br />My mother taught me to read from gravestones when I was 3 - they're actually incredibly good for it because the fonts are so easy to read, and the text is often the same, so you get the benefit of mainly repetition with slight differences.<br />This may, of course, explain a lot about my books :)Dan Hollowayhttp://eightcuts.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.com