Tuesday, 9 September 2008

Being Bohemian....


‘We’re Bohemians,’ said Adrian, swigging a glass of something to prove the point. ‘We don’t follow the rules of normal society.’ He crinkled his nose and waved his hand airily in a dismissive fashion as if the mere thought of doing things properly, decently or cleanly was simply too appalling to contemplate. Being Bohemian is shorthand in this house for any poor behaviour – drinking too much; squandering money on duck when we should be eating haslet; wearing uncoordinated clothes with bits of croissant attached; not going to church; not having a regular salary (no, not even one between us); dropping clothes wherever you exit them rather than deigning to put them in the laundry basket (James and Adrian); wearing strange earrings and too much dark eye shadow (me, not Adrian or James).
We’ll haul out the Bohemian excuse book at the drop of a hat - for not joining in, joining up and for running wide-eyed and gibbering from any kind of communal responsibility or anything involving wearing ties and long dresses.

However, while that’s all well and good and I will avoid a committee like the proverbial plague, I find that I lose the laissez-faire attitude when it comes to entertaining. Adrian can’t give a toss. He’s of the school that people take you for what you are (yes, yes, Bohemians, we know) and are grateful for whatever you plonk in front of them, providing it is washed down by enough booze. I (silly fool that I am) happen to think that a house should be warm, welcoming and look vaguely presentable (ie not inch deep in dust with tables perched on joists rather than solid floorboards) and that food should be
a) plentiful (I still cringe at the time A tried to make a small chicken feed eight)
b) hot (he tends to the Greek habit of leaving things a hanging around until suitably tepid) and
c) decently presented (at least without dribbles of gravy over the edge of the plate).



So, I have made excuse after excuse (and I think bare joists - see left - and a Greek chorus of firemen builders are pretty good) but now the man is getting restless and dreaming of cassoulet. It sends tremors to the depths of my soul. Last time we did this it was following a dream of paella which in reality clanged onto plates like cannon balls and ended up with me phoning round the pubs to find Adrian and the other two men who duly returned so drunk that one of the women was decidedly chilly for nigh on a year afterwards.

‘You’re falling into the yummy mummy trap,’ he complained. ‘Keeping up with the school gate bollocks.’ Cruel and unfair. I have long accepted that I have not the faintest chance of looking trim in Boden and that my hair will never flick under neatly into a bob. I don’t do coffee mornings and I will never be invited to join the girls’ trip to Antigua. All my own fault of course as I rarely adorn the school gate and, when circumstances demand that I make the trip, I tend to arrive incredibly early and park in the perfect spot – clear sight-line to the exit gate but tucked away from general view. I slump down, nose in a book, until I see James at which point I shoot out of the car like a greyhound from the trap (the only time you’ll ever see me sprint), mobile clamped to ear to forestall any possibility of chit-chat, sunglasses rammed on to cut out the possibility of eye contact and smile broadly yet blankly in all directions while yanking him back to the car. All within two minutes flat. It’s not that I don’t like the parents. Far from it. But I really truly hate the minutiae of the school gate and the inevitable questions, particularly at the start of term.
‘Go anywhere nice on holiday?’
‘House finished yet?’
The answer to both is, of course, a bald no. The staycation didn’t work, but then you knew it wouldn’t. Adrian got a ton of work in and I got panicky about a book deadline so we did precisely nothing. Our proposed days on the beach or loitering around National Trust garden centres or even lolling in our own garden fizzled away due to the sheer miserable fact of Having No Summer.
So while everyone else was off swanning round the South of France or galloping over the Alps, we painted shelves as downtime inbetween researching unusual forms of divination and Hindu deities and their vehicles. The house is sort of progressing (for those who have asked) – we now have the following:

- a kitchen (stern, Teutonic, vaguely threatening) - see below - floor isn't really day-glo yellow by the way and yes, that's Asbo's basket with the offending duvet cover with the vicious buttons.
- a breakfast/dining room (rather lovely except for the scuzzy fish tank)



- the Oak Room (or, as we should more accurately call it, the dodgy Pine Room) which is looking pretty fabulous - see below but ignore colours which are all horribly wrong - I am SO not a good photographer.












We have scrummy oak floors (apart from in the Oak Room, natch) and radiators that look like industrial art installations and miles upon miles of bookshelves (but still piles upon piles of books awaiting a home). However what we don’t have is a boiler (or even the Rayburn now) and there are still one-inch gaps in the window frames so it’s ploody freezing.
At which point (after a long excursion elsewhere - apologies) I return to where we began and ask you – can you truly inflict Siberian cold on guests? I think not.
Given which, I reckon I've got at least another few months' grace before we can even t hink about dishing out invites - let alone cassoulet. However, naturally we will accept all invites to other homes (better insulated and floored) – after all, we do have a freeloading Bohemian reputation to keep up.

PS -apropos of nothing on this blog - reassure me, won't you - you have all heard of Joy Division? The band, I mean.



73 comments:

pebbledash said...

Your posts always make me laugh and chuckle....I'm of the house-must-be-spotless variety if anyone comes over, and loath anyone dropping by unannounced for fear they'll see the shit heap I live in most of the time! Your house progress is looking good, nothing wrong with the pics except lack of focus (sorry, I'm so rude). I want a cooker like yours!! xxx

Frances said...

Ah, Jane, being bohemian definitely suits you and yours! It's no use going through life disguised as someone you are not. Takes some folks a long time to find themselves. You are lucky to already have this wisdom.

House does seem to be progressing. Hope that you can have at least two warm room soon.
The photos definitely show lovely spaces.

Now ... about this entertaining bit. Could you all not do something outdoors ... quickly, if the rain stops before the sleet or snow begins?

Please, may we have another blog from you soon?

xo

KittyB said...

Yes to Joy Division - love will tear us apart, and all that - very Mancunian, didn't their royalties fund the Hacienda or something?
Haslet? How long since I heard the word haslet, it's something my granny used to eat along with tripe and calves feet (SBS and Mountainear and LawyerLady and ElizabethM and I had this conversation on the way to Bodran's shop last week).
Bohemian is a great excuse for bad behaviour it seems. But I would say no to a dinner party when there isn't even a floor. EEeek.

By the way love the pic of the sofa and cushions and guitar - should be in Easy Living it's so funky.

Preseli Mags said...

Your home is utterly ravishing. I'm still drooling in envy. The kitchen isn't 'stern'; it's very much an 'I want one like that' kitchen. All utterly gorgeous. I also want a sofa in the window, like yours, with a flag cushion in the middle, and as for that gorgeous oak room... *sigh*...

PS: Yes, I've heard of Joy Division too. Love Will Tear Us Apart etc. Why?

Exmoorjane said...

Aww thanks chucks....
Haslet was a staple of university life in Manchester....ditto Joy Division. I only asked as A and I recently watched Control (the biopic of JD) and I asked a friend if she'd seen it. She said no and asked what it was about. When I said, 'Joy Division' she looked totally blank. Confess I was flabbergasted as thought everyone (at least of a certain age) knew them.
Frances...now then. OUTSIDE???? In bucketing rain? I think all the garden furniture has rotted by now it's been so soggy all, er, summer.

Exmoorjane said...

Oh, and pebbledash, not rude - just accurate! I do love the cooker but also lament my dear old red Aga....

Sorrow said...

Oh my
oh dear
I am not sure that really is a bohemian dig...
but then I don't have a bohemian book to check.
I prefer the term
"early eclectic"
sigh
The house looks loverly..
The complaints about the men folk...
I shall just raise my hand and say could be every man I have ever known... from son to father and brother...
I need to learn how to do the school yard dash...
They talk to me way to much, and seem to think I have volunteer tatooed to my forhead...
Must say this whole post made me feel so much better..
Thanks for the smiles...
Bohemian Rhapsody....

Mother Nature said...

Your sense of humor makes Bohemian so attractive.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Your house looks simply divine. I used to have a pair of trousers (actually still have them but they're a bit tight so I always say "used to have") and my sister told me I look Bohemian in them.

I didn't have the foggiest idea what she meant!

CJ xx

Faith said...

Ah so that is what I am ... Bohemian! Don't do dinner parties, warm house or no, unless I absolutely have to!

and to be honest Jane I feel like saying 'come off it' cos your house looks gorgeous to me! All that space!

Haslet - got some in my fridge. I love it!

Lane said...

That looks like a damn fine house to be Bohemian in! I do hope you wear wafty, flowing clothes in the evening, topped off with some chunky knits of course:-)

So with you on the 'dive in and grab 'em' at the school gates. Hesitate or make eye contact and you're done for.

ps Joy who?:-)

lampworkbeader said...

I hate to tell you this Jane but you are not bohemian at all. You are decidedly posh. Give the man a treat. Invite all the mates he wants round. Buy an enormous carry out curry (from the supermarket if you can't get one delivered in your neck of the woods...neither can we.)And clear off to the wine bar in Dulverton with a couple of friends. After the first couple of bottles he'll never notice you've gone.

Withy Brook said...

Both stove and house envy, definitely. Joy who? too - but then I am over that certain age!
Dinner parties? Nooooo! The odd couple to supper if he's lucky - but that doesn't happen often either.

Cait O'Connor said...

I feel we are kindred spirits Jane!

I love your rooms, especially the Oak! So inviting.

Great to read your words again.

sumarell said...

I love your home Jane! All the hard work is definitely worth it...
Where was Asbo?

Fire Byrd said...

I found the way to beat the school gate stuff was just to blast them with such a juicy tibit that they left me alone for fear of what I'd say /do next..... AS in "when's your hubby coming home,byrd?" (He being a sailor) me, in loudish voice so all could hear.... "Oh he's not he's left me".... response complete silence. Highly reccommend it. Does help if it's true as well as otherwise lies 'll get you.......
And what's wrong with spam?
xx

Lucy Corrander said...

Hello

I realised I've started to think the blogs I read constitute the blogging universe, so I'm breaking out and, beginning with Garden Hopping, I've hopped here and am stopping to say 'Hello' before hopping on.

I was drawn here because I lived briefly on the edge of Dulverton on the edge of Exmoor. (Just to mention it makes me feel homesick!)

Lucy Corrander
PICTURES JUST PICTURES

Pondside said...

Gorgeous house, Jane.
Go for it - have a dinner party, but make it clear that it's a 'take us as we are' party. Order the food in, if you have to, and party in your Oak Room. You'll have a blast and so will your guests.

tim relf said...

yes, certainly have heard of Joy Division.
there is, incidentally, a v good film called Control (now on dvd) about their lead singer...
Why ask?

Milkmaid said...

Lovely Bohemian Jane, Our dinner guest now all come dressed in warm clothes, knowing now that we do not have central heating and if the wind is in the wrong direction our wood burners won't have a good draw.
Joy Division ahh yes takes me back, very moody, no wonder my mother used to worry about me when that's all she could hear me playing.
When are you and A coming to the beer capital of Yorkshire

DevonLife said...

joy Division. Of course. Please tell me a Bohemian like you is not keeping uncouth youth company. sat next to someone the other day who had never heard of; The Jam, The Police, Aha, The Specials. Nada. He got very excited that he had heard of New Kids On The Block - they're having a revival apparently. Yuk.

House is looking AMAZING. Too jealous, it's only the thought that it's cold and drafty that's keeping me from coming around and throwing a velvet wrapped brick through the window. Almost detoured to Dulverton the other day on the way to Thornhayes Tree Nursery somewhere south of the M5.

Husband refused to come and try and find you on the, quiet valid, point that we've never met, I don't know where you live and you would think we were lunatics. By the way did the tube of wonder ever arrive?? Ahh you see, I do have your address somewhere... be afraid!

Exmoorjane said...

Devon, you rat-bag - I can't reply on your blog cos it's closed...harumph. No, tube of wonder never did arrive....sob. For pity's sake, come over and see me! If you email first you might even get lunch!

Jane said...

I've been using building work (which hasn't started yet) as an excuse for 3 years now.
We had been going to invite people round for wonderful al fresco meals this summer - but for obvious reasons that wasn't a goer.
I have a bad habit of having a drink or two and then forgetting that I am meant to be hosting -
Is that bohemian or just anti-social?
We have a school bus.
J
x

Sally's Chateau said...

You like Cassoulet do you ? is this the 'in' dish ? Hurrraaaaaaah I'm 'in' (or maybe not). I like the sound of Adrian myself, maybe I'll drop him off a proper tin of Cassoulet from Castelnaudary, very acceptable actually as this is the home of the dish.

Casdok said...

Beautiful house. Just love the floors!

Fern said...

Your house is looking fantastic, love the kitchen and the floors, we have oak boards too. I have never seen anything like those window catches, they are spectacular!
The window with the lillies on my blog belongs to a cottage in your neck of the woods, Dunster I think.

willow said...

I adore that red wall behind the fireplace! I'm over via the black box widgety gidget.

LittleBrownDog said...

Oooh, Jane - your house is already looking WAY, WAY nicer and more comfortable than mine (and I always thought Bohemian was wearing plum with russett and a bit of fringing). And OF COURSE I remember Joy Division. Vaguely...

Know exactly what you mean by the school gate thing. I sort of lurk outside Somerfields if I'm anything but unfashionably late, which I usually am, which The Boy seems very grateful for as he seems to think my life's mission is to embarrass him. "You laugh too much, Mummy." And there was I thinking laughter was a good thing. Am perusing my train timetable already.

Edward said...

House is looking decidedly spiffing, and your school gate behaviour is entirely understandable. Can't abide all that cosy chit-chat with concealed weapons. You're welcome down our way anytime for a cassoulet, whatever that is - bohemians always welcome.

the flour loft said...

Just found you via pebbledash. this post made me chuckle too and if all you said is true then we too are bohemian... or 'arty' as people often refer to me as.(lets me get away with a lot i think) One friend aways comments on all the'interesting' things i have on display... in other words she means 'clutter'. We are just who we are and it is just a case of accepting that although i must admit that i do like to tidy if we are having guests but only as the house is so small that we wouldn't get folk in. I love the colours of you walls, beautifully rich.
ginnyx

Irene said...

I just want you to know that I always read bu that I am a lurker. It's very Bohemian of me, I know.

Zoë said...

Wow, that red suits it so well. I had wondered what you would chose, but played a little guessing game and decided what I would do with the space, and then thought... I'll wait and see what she does. It's not far off what I had in mind, and that red is so warm and welcoming. Kitchen is looking fab too. Can I pass on a tip from when we went through similar tortures here:- Make sure all cats, children and small dogs are visible and corralled safely before allowing the builders to final fix the floor boards, meowing floor boards can be troublesome and ruin the final finish of said floor when removed in desperation with a crowbar! Tried phoning you btw, think I must have mixed up the numbers.

xxxx

Exmoorjane said...

Inspired idea, Zoe - floorboards will DEFINITELY be left up - reckon I could lose TWO dogs down there????
Oh Irene, don't lurk.....talk to me!

bodran... said...

I think i've gone past bohemian and I'm now Raggle taggle. It all looks lovely and cosy And what a spiffing cooker . xx

MauritaMason said...

Arrived here via Black Boxes...love the way you write, and your home is lovely.

Pili pala said...

Jane you have a beautiful home,(the bits I've seen), very cosy and inviting. I think its all the little things that make a home, a reflection of your personality. Looking forward to more pics x

Queen Vixen said...

I did chuckle at this one. I always chuckle at your posts. If only I had such bohemian wit! I really do identify with the bohemian thing. Its so terribly convenient to class ones self in such a way. My son would term it as 'strange'. He accused me of being strange when I told him of my desire to stamp my foot and slap my thigh in the middle of HMV - thats bohemian right? Or should I just be sectioned?

As for the school gate (cue cold sweats and a desperate swig of cider) Bloody awful. Could never ever ever do it again.

PS your interior looks GORGEOUS!

Brit' Gal Sarah said...

Well hello fellow Brit'! The little black box landed me here in Exmoor all the way from Oklahoma, where this Brit' now lives!

Love your home and need that Union Jack cushion over here please ;-)

Victoria said...

House looks fabulous! I know exactly what you mean about entertaining, tho. What is it with men and making an effort to make things look nice? My husband can never understand the need for a tablecloth (we only use one when people come round). I on the other hand, can never understand the need for the guests to see where my son scratched his name (not his initials, his NAME) into the tabletop when he was eight. You're very brave to do cassoulet. My standby is osso buco. All you have to do is chuck it in the oven five hours before you want to eat it.

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

I don't know if it was your intention, but you made being bohemian sound kind of fun.

And yes, I have heard of Joy Division, though I am quite certain Edward has not.

TLP said...

I'm here via the Black Box. Your house is fab! I love it. I actually hate to entertain. My house is presentable at all times, but I just hate cooking so much that my stove asks me for identification when I approach it.

As luck would have it most of my friends think like I do: The best way to keep the kitchen clean is never use it. We all eat out more than we eat at home.

Of course men can be casual about entertaining. No one expects a damn thing from them. It's the woman who gets the blame.

Sorrow said...

keep hearing about your scones...
If that little byrd doesn't stop soon, I am going to start begging for the recipe...
LOL

dlyn said...

Here via the BB and glad I found your blog - love it!

LG said...

Here via the Black Box widget, and thanks for popping into Vulpes Libris!

www.lisaglass.co.uk

ska said...

oh jane how i've missed your blogs (my fault entirely). glad you are still not letting the side down.
xx
ps your house looks lovely, am jealous

Milla said...

Goodness, how come I missed this!! Great to read one of your blogs again, and all those billions of comments, my own bohemian scones are probably freezing by now (just nipped up while they cooled)

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Well fancy that! The little black box just brought me here...

CJ xx

Crucifix said...

Oh Bohemian, love it. My husbands Mother is a Grand Dame of that genre and so I can blame her for all our (well almost) pitfalls in being slightly uncivilised and unorganised!

Your house looks fab, very trendy actually, such good taste. I can say that because my fireplace wall in our dinky cottage is a red one too!

I have a different excuse than you for never having anyone over for dinner though - we are so remote no one can be bothered to drive the 4 hours or take the train and then be picked up!

Great to read a new blog from you and to see Asbo's litle bed.

blogthatmama said...

Joy Division that became New Order and sang Blue Monday, I'll never forget them! I spent my 'academic year abroad' in Granada dancing to that song in Spanish nightclubs.

Your house looks lovely Jane. Blogthatmamax

Misssy M said...

First of all, I want your house. Second of all, I'm drinking white; can I be Bohemian too?

Liking your posts; am google readering you- I'll be back.

HER ON THE HILL said...

Joy Division - wasn't it Joyless Division? Killed himself didn't he? Face facts, I'm getting too old to remember...

LOVE the house Darlink and LOVE cassoulet. Am I invited?

What's all this Black Box stuff? Weren't they a band too?

xxxx

HER ON THE HILL said...

PS, think I'm Bohemian too, by your definitions. Though I do get sucked into the school gate thing even when I don't want to. But then, I'm known for being able to chat a bit. Never bloody shut up, that's my problem. Too blooming nosey too. Just shoot me.

HER ON THE HILL said...

PPS: have just done the Black Box thing which was fun - thanks for introducing me to it. The book sounds a good read too...

CAMILLA said...

Oh absolutely brill blog Jane. Think my daughter and new husband are liken to Bohemian, and when I have to collect children at school gates I am lucky if anyone speaks at all...... they are probably thinking who is that strange woman, they all huddled in separate groups.

Your house is GORGEOUS.! adore the kitchen and cooker and wood floors.

Looking for heated radiators at the moment for study, no heating at all in there.

Love your writing Jane.

xx

Virtual Voyage said...

Great blog.....! Glad you black boxed into mine. House renovation definitely isn't what it's cracked up to be, is it(says she, pliers in teeth...)

Victoria said...

Hey there, have been enjoying reading through your blog over the weekend. I just wanted to ask something. I noticed you list Tarot as one of your interests and wondered if you do readings? Or know anyone who does? Would be grateful to hear back from you, thanks, Scribble. P.S. I'm over on wordpress at http://anyscribbles.wordpress.com or you could email me. thanks.

Fennie said...

You are too modest as always Jane. I am sure your house and your table would put mine to shame. Your room - the one with the colours - looks grand, welcoming and wonderful. But then you need a bit of quirkiness in a house, don't you? You need a bit of cold, a bit of draught, an odd mouse, a frayed carpet, things that don't shut or won't stay shut (mine is a modern house and so doesn't count). Your house feels inspirational, like these blogs. And I'd vote for Bohemian over Boden if I could.

Woozle1967 said...

Blimey, Jane - mighty quick work on your house and its looking fab! The exposed joists will soon be a flaky memory - or is that the wine talking?xx

Leslie said...

Hello Jane!
This is serendipitous!
After leaving a reply to your comment on my blog, I toyed with the Black Box, and came right here to your blog!
Now for a good look around...

Mud in the City said...

Really love the pics of your house - truly stunning! If you are ever in need of guests who bring their own ski suits to keep warm - drop me a line!

Lucy Corrander said...

I'm having trouble with feeds to PICTURES JUST PICTURES .

Followers cannot access it at present through their Google Dashboards and it isn't possible to click to the blog through Google Readers either. I'm assuming people using other Readers will be experiencing the same problem.

Please excuse this format message - but I'm cutting and pasting it to 'Followers' and to other people who have left messages on PICTURES JUST PICTURES from time to time.

When I have worked out what to do - I will. Meanwhile, I will continue to post daily.

You can either use this link PICTURES JUST PICTURES or click through from the sidebar of LOOSE AND LEAFY.

Internet Explorer Bookmarks still work

(Members of Blotanical may sympathise if I say 'Isn't it Wonderful!')

Lucy Corrander

Miles Away In France said...

Bohemian, that's it, that's how I will describe myself in future.

I knew there was a name for it but just couldn't think of it.

I love your blog and your sense of humour.

Racheal x

LadyLuz said...

You really brighten my day when I read your blogs. And the comments are just as entertaining.

Thanks for all the laughs.

Grouse said...

Definition of how smart your hosts' houses are is: how hot the front of your legs are (i.e. size of fireplace) and how cold back of legs are (size of house)My mother always judged her hosts by the quality and number of rugs on the sofas! (but then she was never a noted conversationalist) Me- I have to have heat....I'm like Blossom, below a certain temp and I'm off for a hot bath! Gorgeous house, J.

Fire Byrd said...

got her via black box... need to get a life. And you need to write a new post, or are you too busy making scones in which case totally understanable.
hugs
xx

Angel said...

Gosh Jane, your house looks wonderful!

I am a nightmare if anyone comes-even girl friends-have to have the house looking immaculate else perish the thought, they will see a speck of dust and/or think badly of me!


btw-my boys both love haslet. We get it from butcher in Church Stretton! Something I always had as a girl.

xx

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Of course I've heard of Joy Division. And Bohemian is wonderful if it means being as charming as you are. By the way I've tagged you.

elizabethm said...

House looks just fab. Yes of course to Joy Division. Now I like feeding people but like you do need to feel the place is welcoming. This doesn't necessarly mean clean but does mean you can get in the kitchen and that the table is not covered with plumbing bits so now not a good time. What is all this stuff about black box? I am feeling dim here!

Esther Montgomery said...

I'm mesmerised by this - and all the comments.

Surely, to be a Bohemian is to leave your house as you find it, scatter bright cushions and rugs on the floor but never sweep or dust, wear ancient-but-might-have-been-valuable-if-they-didn't-have-holes-in shawls, never cook (except casseroles and soup) but buy French bread and salami (letting the crumbs drop to the floor and dry out in corners; to like heady scents and send the children to school un-washed (perhaps dip 'em in and out of a bath once a fortnight?)and let them find their own way home; to live as if poor but secretly have lots of money.

Isn't that being Bohemian?

(You don't seem very Bohemian to me!)

Oh! And you have to like poetry (or at least pretend to).

Esther Montgomery
ESTHER IN THE GARDEN

Tattie Weasle said...

Yes I have heard of Joy Division - but not sure where or even in fact why....school dances? Ah yes...love will tear us apart - are they bohemian?? KNowing them is that bohemian? No I fear just a tad old - ah me...and I so liked the idea of being a bohemian. Never mind on with the alice bands and boden and off for a jolly goz at the school gates!

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Angel said...

Ha!
I can't believe no new blog for you for how long....

Just re-read the last one -to hear you collecting J from school gates could have been me! I always get there early enough to park up and just sit there until Quiet Mousie he comes into view!
xx

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