Shameless desperation in search of Green & Blacks chocolate hamper

Oh lordy. I’m not remotely a domestic goddess. I rather pride myself on resolutely not doing any cooking or cleaning whatsoever.  So, okay, here in the Bonkers House we all sneeze a lot and tend to wear black but I figure I’m doing my bit towards giving my child a healthy immune system. As a society we are now far too hygienic and it’s compromising our children’s health. Doubtless new research has smacked that on the head but, hey ho *whistles quietly* - it struck a chord with me.


Anyhow, the reason for this rambling is that English Mum, that shining sparkly star of radiant gorgeousness or whatever (hiss, spit) has thrown down the gauntlet with a blessed baking competition. Normally I would, of course, chuckle softly and mutter, ‘I spit on your scones’ but then I read on. The winner gets a hamper of Green and Blacks chocolate.

Not a few measly bars but a sodding great HAMPER.

Not any old crappy chocolate but Green and Blacks – uber chocolate. Chocolate so pure and lovely it doesn’t even contain calories or count towards a sugar rush.

Suddenly I found my inner Nigella barging her way out, unseemingly desperate to slap on a pinny and get hectic in the kitchen.

Now, regular readers might remember the last time I tried getting cosy with the cooker. English Mum was also to blame then and these were the result.

James ate one and I swear his pupils became so huge and black I had him drug-tested. I gave the rest away and got black looks for months afterwards from the good mothers of Dulverton.

So I tried something low-key. Something subtle and sophisticated. A Nigella recipe using G&B’s chocolate of course. Trouble was, I ate a bit more than I should have done so the quantities were a bit off. It also wouldn't come off the baking foil and looked a total disgrace.  But, ye Gods, it tasted like total heaven.

However, I figured I needed something with a little more WOW factor; something that didn’t look like a cow pat. So I thought I’d show you some of my sterling effects on James’ birthdays....

I may be a slummy mummy most of the year but I do pull my finger out for birthdays. There is usually a theme and I confess I would go over the top on occasions (the pirate party had me up until 3am making treasure caskets in lieu of party bags. Yeah, for five year olds - go figure). Anyhow, here are a few of my efforts (don’t look too closely – think exuberant effect rather than precision perfection.
This is the cute one....the dog asleep on the bed one (hmm, sounds familiar)...Yes, that is a pillow, not a chunk of icing I forgot to remove.

Here is the rugby one....complete with iced mud.  So, the figure looks a tad squashed but, hey, he'd just been tackled.

And the Bart Simpson one....yup, that was another serious case of mass poisoning by E-numbers.

And I really was rather proud of the one I did for the climbing wall party.  It's a mountain - geddit? - the ropes are strawberry laces and the figures are really commandos (guns are useful for sticking into icing). The jelly beans are boulders of course (and, ahem, very useful for covering the breaks in the icing).

Here is a gap. The Haunted Castle should be here but sadly Asbo got to it and ate the entire thing – plastic spiders, candles and all.




Soooo.....come on.... pretty please.