‘I think you need a break,’ said Adrian. ‘Let’s raid the funds and send you on a week at a spa or something.’
Oh dear, dear soul – what a lovely thought but really it’s not the answer. The funds are stretched to the point where they will soon ping back in our faces and, anyhow, a week wouldn’t even scratch the surface of my malaise. I’ve been reading about Eat, Pray, Love – the bestselling book now a film with Julia Roberts (note I say reading about – I’m not sure I could actually read it without getting Extremely Cross). If you don’t already know it’s about a woman who falls out of love with her life (and her husband) and wafts off for a year to ‘find herself’ – in Italy, India and Bali (as you do). Well bloody great for her. Whoop-di-whoop. But oh, just COME ON. Get real. How many of us can afford to take off for a year? How many of us can even take a year off (even without the wafting round the world bit?) It’s so bloody unrealistic it makes me sick.
Okay, rant over. But seriously, if I’m going to make things change, I’m going to have to do it right here, within my normal everyday life. Like the rest of the world.
I’m not going to go into All The Things That Have Gone Wrong this week. Suffice to say it’s been pretty crap (literally as well as metaphorically) as the Soul Puppy has decided that his favourite poo place is right in front of the bus queue. Yes, I poop scoop. No, I don’t really mind doing it. But doing it in front of a line of people who make helpful comments like, ‘Ooh, you missed a bit over there’ or ‘He’s a bit loose this morning, isn’t he?’ is not ideal.
However, on a cheerier note, my talk to the Brushford Ladies (a splinter group of the WI – ‘we broke away – it was very liberating’) went down better than I expected. We went a bit off-topic and got caught up in a debate about alpacas humming and why men like the colour red. I had a nice cup of tea and they gave me a gorgeous bunch of flowers.
Then I came home to find an email from my friend Gill.
‘Hey, wanna come along to fatties’club?’ she said cheerily. It seems WeightWatchers has just started up meetings in Dulverton.
‘Do we get to go for chips and red wine in Woods afterwards?’ I replied.
She didn’t answer so I’m guessing the answer is no.
And you know what? I’m going to go. Because in the real world, we don’t have the option of wafting off to a fancy spa to lose weight and sort out our heads. We do it at WeightWatchers and with our mates, right here, right now.
PS - Haven't read anything fabulous this week, I fear...
PPS - you can read my blog for The Lady here:
29 comments:
Not only do most of us not have the mean$ to take a year off to globe-hop while rediscovering our mojo but 99% of us don't look like Julia Roberts while doing it. How nice to be fantastically beautiful, rich and have hot men throwing themselves at you 24/7. About as realistic as Cinderella.
Oh crap sounds like you're having a week like mine although I'll swap Soul puppy poo for loose cat shat any day! Onward and upwards dear heart I beleive it is merely a phase we are going through (at least that's what my Mum said last week when I told her I'd given up on marriage, children and dog poo - strangely as I come to think about it she only lectured me on the dog poo aspect...)
I fear Eat, Pray, Love will make Mamma Mia look like a hard-hitting documentary on single mothers.
The trailer alone has had me shouting at the telly.
Still, I do like a good rant at the telly.
Good luck with WW (am so with you on the chips)
Fancy popping up to London to give a talk at my WI?? [I'm actually not joking...]
I always find Julia Roberts a bit annoying, on and off screen. Still, she has found a way to make a career last a long time.
Best wishes to you, Jane, and please do keep up these regular posts. I bet that every one of us has got a bunch of stuff, or is it Stuff, that seems to block our path to contentment. Some recent days, or perhaps weeks, I have felt as if I were living someone else's life...how could I possibly have gotten into the daily grind that seems to repeat itself. How do I extract myself?
Do not have the answers yet. Trying to turn my rut into a groove, if you get my meaning!
xo
We really do get by with a little help from our friends.
A week at the spa = expensive.
Journeying with friends = priceless.
Keep calm and carry on.
Nedine: oh yes, missed out the fantastically beautiful bit...now hate it even more. :)
Tattie: do wish you were nearer so we could commiserate together over puppy poo and cat shat... ;)
Chin up, dear heart.
Dawn: LOL - love that comparison!
Mud: Heck, I'm honoured but I'd be too scared. It took me eight months to pluck up courage to do this one!
Frances: oh me too - let's turn our ruts into grooves...do let's...
Ooh that fairly cheered me up anyway Jane...sounds like you have had a 'pooey' week. I read the 'eat, pray, love' book, or got some of the way through it and deserted it...not a patch on these blogs, same with the 'My life in the north' book, I got a bit bored with it halfway through, have decided we are thoroughly spoilt with these blog reads. Loved the idea of chips and wine in the woods, but would hate the whole stepping on the scales in front of everyone malarkey, I would skip that bit altogether. Posie
another fatuous fattie here. Standing tall takes off half a stone but then you have to slouch because there's so many ghastly little teeny sweet people around so your chub just corrugates desperately. Bring on the leisure burqa I say.
sorry you've had a tough time and it narks me off when i hear about people wafting off doing things to get away from it all. but you are right you can't beat feeling better from a great friend, my friend frequently drags me from the pit of dispair and she is priceless
Your friend is cruel. That's what Weightwatchers meetings are FOR ... going out for chips and wine afterwards. Chips and wine never taste so good as they do just after a fatty club.
Oh my, Jane, what a week you've had! Fortunately, I hear many of the straws on the camel's back can be looked on later as humorous. Oh, okay...SOME of the straws can be, but things really will get better! Rays of sun from across the pond!
Personally I think youre having withdrawal symptoms from leaving Northumberland.
One of my dogs has a certain place she always stops, not next to a bus stop mind, but right infront of someones front window.
enjoying your blog!
I was given a copy of Eat Pray Love and posted a casual comment on twitter asking if it was worth reading.I was inundated with negative comments one even saying she regretted the time wasted reading it.I flung it in the Oxfam pile.
I too am meant to be on a healthy living plan at the mo..
Oh God can't they find anyone more inspirational and real than Julia Roberts for what sounds like a painfully boring film anyway.The secret of escaping from life that can sometimes seem a rollercoaster is to hang on tight to dear friends. When are you going to write the screenplay for a group of bloggers ?
I enjoyed Eat Pray Love, although I preferred One Day by ....oh, forgotten, but is GOOD!
Yes - bits of it narked me off, but I was intrigued by daily life in the ashram and Bali.
TBH - I don't read books because they're realistic - hell, who wants that?! lol!
Hope your evening at Fatbusters does not feature Marjory Dawes ('eat dust - no calories in dust').
I went to Scottish Slimmers for a while but am now sitting here with my wobbly belly back in place and about £200 down.
Have a great time - it'll be fun!
Ali x
About six months ago I lost a couple of pounds, got all excited and promised myself that I would not buy anything new (I don't include plants, wine and fabric in this because they are the bare necessities of life)until I had lost another four pounds. Think I am being moderately careful but clearly I must have amnesia about all the times I am not as I have lost not a single ounce. Hope this week is a better one. I am having a go at the decluttering, a little bit. I'm pretty sure it was you that inspired me!
Eat, Pray, Love - even the title is enough to make most women throw up! I've seen her (can't even remember her name) being interviewed on TV and it didn't make me dash out to buy the book. I'm thinking of writing my own book called Beets, Hay, Gov - the story of farmers battling with red tape. Do you think I'm on to something?
One can but dream can't one - and channel. Perhaps you could go to Bali on the internet. Good luck with the weight watchers, though. And if the worst comes to the worst you can always try leeks!
No year off wandering around the world here either!
Enjoy the puppy poo picking :-)
Oh dear...I did have to laugh at the bus queue comments. I'm afraid I would be extremely rude to them if it was me doing the scooping.
If memory serves, you can drink a lot of red wine on WeightWatchers.
You do realise that Elisabeth Gilbert, she of the "Eat Pray Love" fame, was actually on assignment for a publisher and was still getting a paycheck while she was toodling around the globe eating pasta and visiting gurus, indulging in her navel gazing? Nice work if you can get it!
Canadian Chickadee
I hated Eat Love Pray, hated, hated, hated. I don't usually write book reviews but i did for that one, I wanted to smack the the author's face and say GROW UP! I pity the person she married next.
Pardon me, ladies, but I think you've missed the whole point of the book. It's purpose is not to encourage women to leave their families and tour the world to find spiritual contentment while being serviced by supple-bodied gigolos. No, it's purpose it simply to make you jealous of those women that can. Glad to have cleared that up for you.
Do men like the colour red? Tell me more .... Loving the idea of a WI splinter group too,, hope they know some guerilla flower-arranging tactics ... hope you feel better soon xx
ha ha Eat Pray Love 'women' turn up here occasionally, Jon always checks out what the lone female guests are reading, if it's that I have to deal with them. He isn't known for holding his opinion back :-)
I thought Eat, Pray, Love, was a load of self-obsessed twaddle. Any true friend would get a bottle of wine down her and have a heart to heart along the lines of "Get over yourself, sweetie, we're all bored witless with your prattle." It's no accident that the equally self-obsessed and shrivelled L*z J*nes is being paid by her newspaper to follow in the author's footsteps.Perhaps the title should be changed for Ms J*nes to "Eat and Pray, Love, for heaven knows, thou art a miserable old stick."
Good luck with Fatfighters and the renegrade WI!
Hi Jane,
Must admit Julia Roberts the actress is not one of my favourite's either. Heavy doom here and as for taking break away to far flung places of sunshine that costs big bucks....this somehow is not going to happen.!
Friends are a great saver to help us when times are tough, hang in there Jane, sending over to you heaps of best wishes.
As for the dog poo..... yep, Daisy as of late seems to think the hallway is a good place to try her luck, wouldn't mind but the odd wee too, no way.! out with the mop and bucket. I wouldn't mind but she is not even of a puppy dog...sigh.
I would forgo the scales Jane, the fish and chips washed down with seriously yum red wine, sounds better.!
xx
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