Thursday, 25 November 2010

Cold hands and chanting Buddhists

I am so cold that I am using my anti-SAD LitePod as a handwarmer. Seriously, it’s the only way to keep my hands warm enough to type. Dogs might be good foot-warmers but you can’t drape them around your hands. At least, not unless you turn them into gloves....

Tempting thought actually. The other day I discovered the SP putting the finishing touches to a large circular hole he had neatly chewed in my boot. Not just any boot. Not one of my many pairs of crappy, ancient falling to bits boots. No. He had carefully paw-picked the ONE decent pair; the one (relatively) expensive pair (four years old; still in their box; lovingly cherished). I wailed.

At the risk of sounding like (a minor league) Liz Jones, I want to be warm; I want nice things; I’m fed up of scrabbling. I want someone to say ‘yes’ for once. As in: ‘Yes, Jane. We LOVE your book and we want to give you a big fat advance (delivered in a Prada handbag) for it.’ Instead I get another rejection. A very ‘nice’ rejection as my lovely agent puts it, but a rejection nonetheless. I feel like Nicolo Festa. Who? EXACTLY.

Mind you, while the editors are shaking their heads, Samael is building up more and more of an unofficial fan club. Authonomy has brought in a new (hopefully more merit-based) system and the book has suddenly had a second wind and is marching purposefully up the chart, thanks to a new wave of fans. I now have two lovely Buddhists chanting for the book to get a deal. One of them is also an astrologer and he did my chart, saying firmly: “If Samael is not picked up, I’ll eat one of my many hats. You can quote me on that. And the waiting IS for a reason.’
Maybe it is. Maybe the right editor, the right publishing house, hasn’t seen it yet. Meanwhile another author on Authonomy urged me to get in touch with her editor at a major publishing house in New York. So, it’s not over yet.

It hasn’t all been doom and gloom either. We had friends to stay with their dog Captain (a dead ringer for Hairy MacLary). The SP was in seventh heaven and spent three days humping the poor creature. When Asbo joined in, the breakfast room looked like the set for a gay dog porn movie. Who’d have thought three dogs could be quite so inventive. Forget Soul Puppy – he’s now officially been renamed Shag Puppy (and his balls are SO coming off next week).

Blessings:

• Superdrug. Who knew they did such fabulous nail polish? Regular readers will know about my little addiction. I am currently sporting deep dark and fabulous Midnight Blue by GOSH. And soooo cheap.

Midori. Okay, so I laughed at first. I tilted my nose and sniffed in a disapproving way. But, seriously, I’m hooked on the melon stuff.

Edward Gorey. Have been re-reading/viewing his books and they are just SO wonderful. Might need an entire blog on this genius, actually.

• Leonard Cohen. My first ever musical love and the most enduring. Just can’t get Stranger Song out of my head these days. 

* Soul Savers.  My new musical love.  So gloomy, so maudlin, so perfect. Best track? You will miss me when I burn.

17 comments:

Frances said...

Jane, I am sure that your chanting fan is absolutely right. A publisher will say Yes, and soon, too.
Sorry about the cold hands. Do you ever wear those fingerless mitts? It seems funny that a style I used to associate with Dickens characters has now re-emerged to aid folks in using their blackberries, etc.
So sorry about the boots. Edward Gorey fan here, too. xo

Milla said...

Lolly settles for shagging my leg. Has no balls nor lady bits - not sure whether to be flattered, until I stand down wind of her and I'm terribly disappointing. Does that reek-hound really want my leg. And not only want but think she's in its league. You're not dog, sod off.
Anyway, continued Glos Vibes (not quite as impressive as chanting) for the book. One day, Janey, one day.

Exmoorjane said...

Frances: *sigh* Since typing out that post, I've had TWO more rejections.... aaaghh. Yes, I have fingerless mitts (Pipany knitted me some last year!) but I can't type in them as they're too thick. Isn't Edward Gorey just wondrous?

Milla: Glob vibes hugely appreciated. Am deeply glum (even more deeply glum actually - see above response to Frances)... One day indeed - when I'm ninety probably and too old to read the noughts on the cheque.

Annette Piper said...

Have faith in the people who believe in you Jane - it will work even though it may take a little while.

On the weather front, we've finally had some hot temps down here in Australia. In winter I eat lots of toast - as I can warm up my hands over the toaster as its cooking!

Fran said...

Dogs have taste, that's the trouble. Good luck with the book.

legend in his own lunchtime said...

Currently freezing my own balls off, but warmer weather to come thank goodness. Same with fame and fortune. It will be.

Rob-bear said...

Ah, that wonderful SP; truly a dog of discriminating tastes! Takes after his mistress in this regard. (Or has he been getting lessons from ASBO Jack?)

And Leonard Cohen, the great Montreal songster. We love him in his native land (here across the pond). We're glad others like him, too!

elizabethm said...

Well if a Buddhist chanting astrologer says it's going to happen, it's going to happen. I put my money on the New York editor. fingers and everything still crossed for you.

Expat mum said...

When your book gets a publisher (and notice, I said "when", not "if") and makes you millions, you will want a huge pile of rejections to be able to say, a la JL whatsit, "I got two hundred and sixty one rejections before I landed a contract".
Any writer worth her salt gets multiple rejections first. I want to see at least double digits m'lady.

Expat mum said...

Call myself a writer? At least I could proof my comments before I post them - I meant JK, not JL, whatsit!
PS. - my word verif. is "Flable" which has a lovely ring to it and has inspired my next blog post.

Carrie said...

I hope the chanter's prayers will work it's purpose, hope it happens.

Kate said...

Sending lots of good thoughts to you, to help with the chanting! I'm struggling to get some work published in various magazines - after my piece in Red - and it's an uphill battle. I want a couple of fat Yes-es too.

Mark said...

Rejections are tough.

The company I work for owns one of the UK's largest book wholesalers (Bertrams) - there are quite literally millions in our warehouse in Norwich - well over 180,000 titles. I often think how may more books are written but remain unpublished.

Dogs much happier without balls I think - he will still love you too

Shayne Parkinson said...

Lovely to see Hairy Maclary, one of New Zealand's most successful exports, mentioned!

Sorry to hear about the *delays* in acceptance for Samael, but I'm sure it's just waiting for the right publisher.

DD said...

You're so lucky having Buddhists chanting for you! It's surely only a question of time. I'm very envious. Can you ask them to chant for me instead as soon as you get published? x

Posie said...

Jane I loved the image of the dog chomping through a pair of good boots and you chomping through a hat....dogs romping in the kitchen and the huge advance arriving in a prada bag.... of course....you will get there with Samael....and I am sure these blogs will be getting put into print at some point, they are fab, just keep writing....

Geeta said...

Good luck with publishing your book. I'm still looking for an agent - I guess the search doesn't even begin to end there!