Sunday, 13 January 2013

Don't laugh but...I'm running.

I’ve always wanted to run. I have this image of myself as some kind of Artemis, virgin huntress, sprinting lightly and lithely through the woods, the SP bounding gracefully at my heels, at one with the wind.

And I desperately need a new string to my fitness bow now I’ve lost the gym, yoga and my Wednesday Pilates and Zumba.  Don't ask - I'm in mourning.

Running is the ultimate low-maintenance sport – just stick on a pair of shoes (or stay barefoot?) and go for it.  No kit, no classes and – wayhay! – no fees.   Plus every runner I know has a truly fabulous physique – lean as beans.  Okay, so I’m a realist and I ain’t ever gonna look like Jessica Ennis but, seriously, you just don’t see chubby runners, do you? 

Anyhow.  My attempts at running have, so far, met with dismal failure.  I start off just fine but it all swiftly falls apart. I wreck my knees or my ankles or both and end up out of action for weeks. 

‘You’re doing it all wrong,’ said my pal Trish, uber-fitness instructor and mad-keen runner.  ‘You go hell for leather from zero, no wonder you knacker yourself.’ The words ‘you bloody idiot’ were unspoken but were written loud and clear in her expression.
‘If you want to run without injuring yourself, you have to start off really really slowly.’
Huh?  I don’t do really slowly very well.  When it comes to fitness, I’m a bit all or nothing.  ‘I know what you’re thinking,’ said Trish. ‘But, trust me. Anyone can run. It’s just how you do it.’

Aim high, huh?  
Seems that the way to start is to do one minute jogging followed by one minute walking – repeat as necessary for about half an hour.  Do it three times a week, with rest days in between and gradually increase the length of the jogging bits until it's all jogging and no walking. 
‘And that’s it?’
‘That’s it,’ said Trish. ‘We’ll start tomorrow.’
‘Absolutely.  By the end of six weeks you’ll be able to run for half an hour without stopping at all.’
‘And then?’
‘You start training for a half-marathon.’
‘Oh piss off!’

But the challenge was there; the glove had been thrown down.  And then a lovely PR I know said that her client were offering a pair of running shoes for testing.  Fate.  It had to be Fate, right? 

So there we were this morning, running round Dulverton. Four of us with looks of intense fear on our faces with Trish herding us like a mega keen border collie.  And, you know what?  It was fine.  And we came back to the river and did an hour of kettlebells in the bloody freezing cold and now I feel – sort of springy. Like I’ve had a shower under a waterfall or something. 

Now then.  I just have to pick out my shoes.  What you reckon? 
Nice colour combo, huh?
A bit pink...
A bit...blueeagh...
Or something completely different?  

Oh, and if you fancy joining me in this madness, we could spur one another one.  How about it?


Sandie said...

Ha, my elder daughter has those purple ones. I'd go for the rory pink in middle... The pink/red and green just look a tad sickly.

Then i'd admire running shoes and lycra clad legs n bum in the mirror for a while, but would likely never make it out of the house. Posing in sports gear can be SO exhausting, you know? :D

Greg said...

You've got me interested.I haven't exercised at all for 2 1/2 years (blushes). I've had a couple of leg operations so I'd better check with the Dr first. It would give me an excuse to get some new shoes too!

Exmoorjane said...

@Sandie - there are loads of 'em...I am mesmerised by shoes. Oh go on, get off your lardy arse, step back from the wood burner and join know it makes sense. We have to be in tip-top condition for when we run away. :)

@Greg - do it! Check with doc and then let's get going. I'll nag you if you nag me. :)

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Run, Rabbitch, Run! :oD

Jo Peters said...

I'd definitely go for the purpley ones - they look more professional and less shouty.
I am a tad jealous. Living by Hove seafront, EVERYONE is a runner but I have to say it also looks boring. I've tried, and failed, miserably in trying to run... like you, my knees groaned, my ankles screamed and my chest heaved. BUT I do have my yoga and mountain biking so that's my exercise sorted.
Good luck with it! x

Exmoorjane said...

@ET - Up hill, down dike... :)

@Jo - I've picked a black and pink pair (but not the ones pictured) on Trish's advice. Apparently I overpronate..
I miss my yoga class SO much. I have a bike but sadly it's broken. So, running it has to be. :)

Joanne said...

You'll get hooked! I started running last year, using a couch to 5K app. I'm now running away from zombies (an app called zombies,run! They also do a 5k training app- I think you might enjoy the meld of running and narrative :) But yes - it's v important to have the right shoes if you pronate in either direction. I'd never enjoyed running until someone told me to get to a running shop and have my gait looked at - got the right shoes and have had virtually no knee pain since.

And get this - haven't been running for a month through chest infection/flu and *miss it*. Weird.

Sarah KB said...

Surely the sine qua non of running (after shoes) is a good bra.