Internet friends and lovers



Jeez, he looks grumpy!

Adrian is perplexed.  While he’s been in Moscow, I’ve been meeting my Internet pals.  He just doesn’t *get* my love of internet ‘relationships’.  Yes, he blogs, he tweets, he FBs – but only because he feels he ‘ought to’ for work.  He frowns at tweet-ups, he doesn’t remotely understand why I keep meeting people I haven’t, er, met.

‘It’s like online dating,’ he said, sitting on the end of the bed.  ‘Except without the sex bit.’ Shaking his head.  ‘I don’t get that either.’

‘Aha,’ said I, sitting up and adjusting the SP.  ‘Now, see, if I were single, I’d do that like a shot.’

‘God no.’ He shuddered. ‘It’s not natural.’

‘Oh come on.  It’s practical.’ I put down my coffee cup so I could wave my arms around. ‘Look. Imagine I don’t exist.  Nothing nasty – I haven’t died or anything.  I’m just Not Here. In fact, let’s take James out of the equation too and make it simple.  You live here. Alone. Who you gonna date?’

‘I’d move,’ he said briskly. ‘I’d go to…hmm….Bristol. I’d go to pubs and clubs…’

I raised an eyebrow.  ‘No, you wouldn’t.’

He shrugged.  ‘Okay, I’d go to pubs and museums. I’d stalk women in military museums.’  Dear God.

‘Right.  But say you couldn’t move.  Say you worked here?’  I named names. He looked alarmed.

‘See? It’s not easy once you’re out of your twenties.’ I keep saying this to my mate who just wants a nice man with a labrador.  She doesn’t buy it, the Internet dating thing – but then she doesn’t do Twitter or FB or anything other than the odd brusque email.  Maybe the world is divided into those who click and those who don't... ;)

‘And it’s the same with friends,’ I continued.  ‘I know lovely people here but I can’t always talk about the stuff I need to – about writing, about books, about mad spiritual/mystical stuff.  They’d think I’d gone bonkers.’  His turn to raise an eyebrow.

‘Hence online friends.’

‘Okay, I get that,’ he said.  ‘But then you go and meet them.’
‘Not all of them,’ I pointed out.  ‘But yeah, why not?’

See, I’m fascinated by people online and particularly by how online personae can be so different from RL.  I was talking about this with Jake and the lovely M (his wife) yesterday – how some people are exactly the same on and offline while others are, frankly, unrecognisable. 

‘Anyhow,’ said Adrian.  ‘If you were here alone, who would you shag?’ 

Shag?  Don’t you love the way women say 'date' and men say 'shag'?  He named names.  My eyes widened. 
‘Oh, I don’t know…’ I said with an evil smirk.

He lobbed his croissant at me. The SP neatly intercepted.  I grinned and picked up my coffee cup.

But, seriously…if you wanted to meet a partner, would you consider Internet dating?  Anyone tried it and a) loved it b) loathed it?

How many of your online friends have you met in real life? Were they how you imagined?   

And, before I go.  The ila competition.  I decided, in the end, that I couldn’t just give all that gorgeousness to one person. So I talked to ila and we split the prize.  The SP was the most fragrant creature I could find so he plonked his paw on these guys:  Zenandtheartoftightropewalking, Tiger Princess, Posie and Preseli Mags

Giving away the scent of Heaven

Scent is so very important.  It’s evocative, atavistic, often unfathomable.  Which scents do you love? Which do you hate? 
Does it matter how someone smells?  Oh god, yes! Some scientists even believe that attraction lies in our personal scents being compatible with one another.  No, sillies, not Lynx clashing with Prada.  J 
It’s the same with places – the smell of a space can colour how you feel about it. All that business about freshly-brewed coffee and baking bread when you’re trying to sell a house?  Okay, so it’s a bit hackneyed now but the principle is a smart move. 

Anyhow, I’m very picky about scent and I’m even more fussy about what I slather all over my body. I don’t hold truck with dousing myself in chemicals. If I can’t afford totally natural stuff, I’d rather not have anything at all – or pop a few drops of essential oil onto sea salt and bung that in the bath.  If you read this blog regularly you’ll already know that I have a fanatical crush on ila.  Ila is Sanskrit for earth and everything in these products comes from a plant or mineral – crammed full of loveliness so there simply isn’t any space for anything synthetic. 

Ila was founded by Denise Leicester, a qualified nurse who is also trained as an aromatherapist, yoga teacher and healer.  She believes in healing energy – in ‘a higher vibration capable of facilitating profound inner change.’  Well, don’t laugh, but so do I.  So much that I wrote an entire book yacking on about it. 

Denise spent a year researching, travelling and sourcing her key ingredients with huge care. ‘Each ingredient is chosen for its spiritual attributes as well as its physical and emotional benefit,’ she says. So that included Himalayan salt crystals, Rose damascena and argan oil (and you know how I love that). 
She wanted to find farmers and growers who shared her deep, sacred love of the earth and wanted to found a company on principles  of “spiritual light and multi-level reconnection”. She calls the range ‘beyond organic’ because she doesn’t think it’s enough for a product to be merely organic – she figures the purer the source and the process, the more suffused it will be with the earth’s healing energy. 

Have I lost you?  Are you scratching your heads and whistling quietly?  If so, don’t fret – just put to one side all this woo-hoo mystical stuff and simply luxuriate in some of the most divine high-class beauty products you will find. Forget that image that may be forming in your mind of the sticky gunk you find gathering dust in the far corner of ancient New Age shops.  Oh no, sirree.  These are absolutely top-notch, beautifully packaged and presented.  And, oh, oh, oh – the scents.  

If you’re wondering (and, let’s be honest, I would be too), no, this isn’t a sponsored blog.  I just adore this stuff and want to shout about it a bit.  I’ve bored you with my favourites before so I won’t go on about them again.  I want you to try them for yourselves. But I do realise they are pricey and times are tough.  So I asked ila if they could possibly give something or other for me to pass onto you.  And, bless them, they’ve come up trumps. 

I’m off to a spa in London today (shall report, never fear) but one of you, my lovely readers, can  have his or her (I would never discriminate – rose can smell very sweet on a man!) very own ‘ila-spa-at-home kit’...  This is pretty damn gorgeous and it comprises:

Inner Peace Bath Salts – apparently suited for anyone who needs ‘greater serenity’ and pampering – softens the skin and strengthens your aura. Not bad for a bath!

Body Scrub for a Blissful Experience (argan oil, Himalayan salt crystals, rosehip, jasmine, sandalwood and damascene rose et al) – I haven’t tried this but it sounds delicious –you massage it into damp skin and then bathe.
 
Face Oil for Glowing Radiance: this is a bit of a cult product and I know exactly why. I keep a bottle on my desk and anoint myself with it probably far too often throughout the day. It makes my skin smile and cheers the heart.
 

Body Cream for Glowing Radiance (argan oil, shea butter, damascene rose and tuberose) – this stuff is pure heaven (ask Lulu).

The prize is worth just shy of £200 and I think I can only offer it to readers in the UK...(I'm checking) - but the products are available in the US and parts of Europe. 
 

To stand a chance of winning, simply tell me which scent (it could be anything) you find the most evocative – and why.  I’ll find the most fragrant member of The Bonkers House (hmm, that might take some doing) to pick the winner when I come back next week.  Also, do make sure I have a way of getting in touch with you (if you don’t have a blog). 

Oh, and if you're reading this on Facebook, you will need to comment on the actual blog, not on FB....

Oldberry Castle

Dydd Gwyl Dewi Sant Hapus! Happy St David’s Day to my Welsh friends and family. Adrian left for Cardiff at first light, boyishly excited about spending this national day in his beloved home country. I picked some daffodils from the garden for my desk – but I fear they are still tight buds (and it’s too cold in here to coax them out).

So this morning the SP decided we’d go over the bridge and up into the woods. We went up the Middle Path (how apt), high up to Oldberry Castle, one of the two Iron Age hill forts that protect Dulverton. No deer today. Just spring busying itself for the big reveal. For now it’s small still – the snowdrops are fading; primroses are starting to smile from the banks. There are buds on the trees and brambles while shoots are pushing up through the dry leaf blanket.

I missed my path. How? I know this place like the back of my hand yet I missed it. How strange. How delightful.  I went off-track instead, clambered over fallen tree trunks, snatched by brambles, stroking bark, patting moss. And found myself at the castle once more. Not that you would see it as a castle, not from the ground. But you can feel it; defensive, strong, protective.

Listened to the wind. Loved the wild. Then put on my iPod for the return journey and drowned in mud (so it was a mistake to slide down 'the chimney', a narrow, steep track) but didn't mind as I was also drowning in Jack Savoretti. Do you know this guy? I am in love with his entire album Between the Minds... this is just one of the tracks

And this comes from the upcoming album



Ah, just lovely, lovely, lovely. And now I’m back at my desk and must get back to work. I’ve changed my candle. I now have Jasmine Flowers for Inner Light Joy burning...a cheery yellow to match my (potential) daffodils.
I know, from the responses (both here and elsewhere) to my last blog that a lot of you are going through tough times. Today I light my candle for you all, dear souls, and hope the small signs of spring will bring you fresh cheer and hope.

Random housekeeping blog

Bear with me today. I’m feeling totally rubbish (chest infection making me very dizzy and weird) combined with a beyond intense breathing/meditation session for several hours last night followed by another crap night without much sleep. Ah ye gods. I’m falling to bits.


Anyhow. I will NOT, I repeat NOT have more antibiotics. The last lot (thanks a bunch, Asbo Jack) knocked the socks off me. So I’m blitzing this thing. I am mainlining vitamin C and bioflavonoids (bowel tolerance? Haven’t reached it yet!), annointing my chest with Fushi Winter Rub and snorting goldenseal. Tweeted my woes yesterday and, behold, the incredible people at Victoria Health sent me 10 Day Results Get Well, Stay Well which promises to get me fixed in a few days (pray they’re right). If you don’t know these guys, check them out as they are awesome. The parcel was with me in under 12 hours.

And, oh heck. I’d entirely forgotten we were due to go to Wales tomorrow. Today is the last day of half-term (how the hell did that happen without me knowing?) So I have to pull myself together somehow and get sorted. And do some quick blog housekeeping.

First up, congratulations to Michele (banana-the-poet) who wins the Douwe Egberts coffee and Tesco vouchers. The SP was responsible for licking (I mean picking) her entry (maybe he likes poetry).

And congrats too to PlotTracer who wins the Kinect and YourShape – I think Asbo liked the tough guy avatar.

Huge thanks to all of you who entered. I’ll try to get some more decent competitions up and running soon. By the way, I do have a spare copy of Your Shape, so if you’ve already got a Kinect, drop me a comment below and I’ll get the dogs to pick out someone to send it to.

Random things I love right now:

• Ila Beyond Organic Fragrant Candle for Inner Peace. Honestly, this is not just a candle. I swear it’s a soul workout. Tuberose and rose scented in a pure pink glass. Funny thing, I don’t usually like rose as it can be sickly but this seems to hit the spot – wham bam right in the heart chakra. I’m undone every time I burn it.

• Russell Hoban’s Linger Awhile (Bloomsbury). I read Hoban’s first book The Lion of Boaz-Jachin and Jachin-Boaz when I was really young and adored it. Loved Turtle Diary and was blown away by Riddley Walker (his novel written entirely in his own post-apocalyptic language. Anyhow, Linger Awhile is about an 83-year old man who falls in love with an actress who’s been dead for 47 years. Undeterred (don’t you just love the optimism of age?) he persuades Istvan Fallok (that name alone would make me buy the book) to take magnetised particles of videotape and reconstitute her into a living being. Particles and waves, peeps...particles and waves. This knocks the socks off Romeo and Juliet for doomed love and of course it all ends horribly...but I won’t spoil the fun.

• Diva Gourmet Popcorn – if you’ve got to give your children snacks, make ‘em classy. This stuff is gluten free, less than 4% fat (cos they air pop it rather than use fat) and comes in at 100calories per pack. Funky flavours include Sweet Chipotle Chilli; Camembert, Gouda and Brie and Sea Salt and Balsamic Vinegar. Genius, pure genius.

• My iPod. Sigh. Love. Stroke. Sigh. Love. Stroke. Still can’t quite figure out how to work it properly so do sometimes end up veering from U2 to Hildegaard of Bingen (which is a tad disconcerting) but it is just beyond heaven.

Solstices, eclipses and a dose of good advice

Merry Solstice! Happy Lunar Eclipse... It’s the first time the two have coincided for 372 years so it has to be significant, don’t you think?  I’ve been hunting round trying to find out what exactly it signifies and I stumbled upon Elizabeth Barton’s blog and she says some stuff that chimes with me.
First up she gives this quote: “The tail wags the dog until the dog takes a good look at what is going on. A change is about to take place.”

Well, that resonates big time. I’ve been wagged for way too long.

Then she said: ‘If you do magick…. this is the day to do it! Use this mega energy for yours and other people’s benefit.’ So I figured I won’t go out tonight but will stay in and do some “stuff”.

Hmm. What kind of stuff, Elizabeth?

‘First, release the old; last year’s baggage, then make your New Year affirmations and start manifesting. You will be amazed at the results.’

It’s a plan!

‘Also if you have not been looking after yourself, this is D-day. D is for, “Do it now!”

Okay Liz. I hear and obey. Actually I am starting to look after myself. Having not eaten properly for several weeks, I have made myself get a bit more balanced. I’m eating muesli and fruit and vegetables and getting some protein. Eating is still a chore but it is happening. I’m drinking tons of water and lots of peppermint white tea. I’m starting to stretch and move back into yoga and it feels good.

As is the way right now, the perfect things materialise just as I need them and I’ve been sent some absolutely amazing products. They’re by a company called ila and I’m smitten. I don’t pay enough attention to my body but these creams and unguents are sort of forcing me to be a bit more attentive. In fact, I’m going overboard and am positively slave-girlish right now. A small jar of Face Oil for Glowing Radiance sits by my PC and I anoint myself with it (probably more often than the maker intended)... But then, when they say things like this -

The essential oil of damascena rose otto is the most precious for women as it is deeply regenerative and nourishing to the skin's cells as well as bringing glowing radiance.

– what can you do? And if my face is glowing radiantly, I’d better get the body to match, so I’m lathering on the fluffy, light as a cloud, Body Cream for Glowing Radiance too. One neat side-effect is that rose damascena is a pretty powerful scent and it’s managing to nudge out the really disgusting stench of dog food that billows out from the electric heater in my study. If anyone knows why it smells of dog food (talking meat – Pedigree Chum sort of thing) or (more importantly) how I can get rid of it, please leave me a comment.

Anyhow, basically I could devour the entire ila range. Not only do they feel and smell gorgeous but they come in THE most scrumptious packaging. They even do candles (I’m craving the Orange Blossom Candle that supposedly ‘uplifts the soul with higher energy) and the Jasmine Flowers Candle for Inner Light Joy (don’t we all want some of that?) and incense and uplifting and soothing CDs (like Dream Time Journey) and, and, and....oh the hell with it - I want the lot!

Ila is the Sanskrit word for earth and the company uses only the most natural ingredients, produced with respect for both the earth and the people who harvest its bounty. ‘We believe that the concept of balance goes beyond restoring our own energies,’ they say. ‘Being in balance means existing in harmony with the wider world.’

I just love that.

Soooo....I think tonight I’ll have a long soak in the bath (Bath oil for Glowing Radiance added of course) and then rustle me up one bit of powerful ju-ju for a stonking New Year. Changes are a-coming, me hearties... ride the rollercoaster, go with the flow, tumble into the void!

PS....please keep clicking the Next link - up there, top right hand corner of the main blog page...win prizes, nice prizes - and maybe save me from penury while you're at it. 
Look on it as your solstice gift to me...  :)