Thursday, 8 September 2011

Adrian is sitting on my head


Back to school.  Back to reality. Back to my new classroom. 
Backtrack to the barmy days of summer (okay, poetic license).  Susie and I were lugging kettlebells on the grass by the river (watched by ducks, laughed at by small children, copied by Stalkerish Stretching Man) and I was lamenting my parlous finances (again).
‘You…need…to….see….Helen…’ Susie gasped.
‘He…len?’ I gasped back.
‘Yup.  Is…feng…shui…’
Eh? But we launched into a brutal series of cleans and so I had to wait until we went down on the grass for floorwork to find out more.  Turned out Helen was a feng shui wotnot (Master? Mistress?) and had ‘sorted’ out Susie’s house and, lo and behold, Susie had got herself a pretty stunning high-powered new job before you could say "bagua".  
‘I don’t want a high-powered job,’ I said, slugging the kettlebell over my head while scissor-kicking my legs feebly.  ‘I just want some straightforward money.  Living on freebies is all very good but it’s…limiting.’
‘Helen will sort it,' said Susie firmly. 'I’ll bring her over tomorrow.’
Tomorrow?? You think it’s bad getting your house ready for viewing by potential buyers? Pah! Let's face it, your average house buyer isn’t going to suck his or her teeth and go, ‘Gawd, crap energy flow’ or ‘Will you take a look at that cutting chi?’  I’ve learned enough about this stuff to know we had ‘issues’, to put it kindly.  Once again I’d managed to fall head over heels for a house that was, shall we say, challenged, not only in its structure and underpinning but also in its wealth corner.  But hey, what can you do?  It’s not like you can shove your dirty chi under the beds and disguise your pathetic tai-chi by grinding coffee beans, is it?  
She walked around, sighing softly.  In a dispirited sort of way.  I trailed behind, heels dragging, like a child that knows it’s going to get told off.  And I did what every naughty child does – shifted the blame. 
‘I’ve told Adrian again and again about the clutter in that room,’ I pre-empted. She gave me a beady look. then looked at my office. 
‘Oh dear.’   
The three of us sighed in unison. My office was too big, too cold (no kidding), had too many doors and way too much frenetic energy.  When Helen found out that Adrian’s office sat directly above mine, she shook her head.
‘He’s sitting on my head, isn’t he?’ I said mournfully.
She nodded. 
‘Well?’ said Adrian, after they’d gone and we were sitting at the kitchen table having a post-mortem. 
‘Well,’ I said, prodding a chocolate biscuit.  ‘Seems I can’t work cos you’re squatting on my head.’
‘Okay. And what do we do about that?’  You have to hand it to him. How many men would react like that?
‘Umm…well apparently I need to move my office into the guest room.’
'And this will bring in some work?' he said. Hopefully. 
'Apparently.  Allegedly. Whatever,' I said.
'Let's do it.' 
So the next day we dismantled the guest room and moved it downstairs into my ex-office which, frankly, does look a bit weird, like we’re getting ready to install Uncle Fred (if we had one) and a bedlift.  
And here I am - up in the guest bedroom - feeling…curiously light-headed.  

8 comments:

Tattie Weasle said...

You know it's going to work don't you purely because I don't believe in this sort of thing and fates ALWAYS like to prove me wrong...GOOD LUCK!

Nora said...

I believe in it simply because it's good to shake things up a bit and to make a change now and then out of your (dis)comfort zone. Maybe you will breathe easier up there and feel lighter. It was about time you did something to get out of your slump.

Rob-bear said...

Here's to things getting better in your new spot.

Kneazle1 said...

Our wealth corner is where the bath and toilet is situated. Yep all our wealth was literally going down the plughole so now I keep the plug in all the time and it is working. Last time I'm seduced by a sunken bath. Good luck!

Midlife Singlemum said...

My friend was in a rut so she changed the stair carpet. Within a year three out of her four children got married. I definitely believe that moving things around can shake up the energy and remove blockages. I'm very excited to see what happens next....

Isobel said...

Don't dismiss it out of hand! It does work, even if it can sometimes take time. I'm a great believer in Chinese activities like feng shui, tai chi etc. having actually benefitted after following them.

Anonymous said...

If it works, I will disregard years of cynicism and be converted. I hate to use the word, but am now considering you my guinea pig (sorry - don't hit)

Frances said...

Jane, I do hope that this shifting around will juggle lots of chemistry and all that beyond chemistry about and will grant you lots of wonderful results.

Permit me a bit of a chuckle from my little home place, where just remembering to take the old newspapers to the recycling area represents a major shift of space.

I continue to maintain that your writing is very good, and perhaps it's the potential receptors of that writing's possible publication that might want to switch up their spaces!

xo