Friday, 17 August 2012

Right now


Sometimes life seems hard.  Damn hard. You know the beauty is out there/in here but you just can’t see/hear/smell/touch/taste it. You can still feel but it hurts.  Everything turns to ash. 
And, no matter how much you sleep, you are simply tired, bone tired – physically, emotionally, spiritually.  And you know it’s only you that can change how you feel, even if you cannot change the physical essence of it.

In the past I would probably have drunk or eaten myself to oblivion, or lost myself in TV or trashy books or cried me a river. Now I just meditate.  Nothing fancy.  Just following the breath.  You know – inhale, exhale. Or rather, inhale – pause – exhale – pause. Sometimes longer; sometimes shorter – just quietly observing where it wants to go; not forcing it; just letting it be. Sometimes for hours and hours. And it’s…beautiful.

Am I suggesting you try it if you’re feeling crap; if life is playing dodgeball with you?  Only if you want.  ‘Oh, I would but I can’t meditate…’  I can hear you, y’know.  *smile*  

Then all I can say is maybe try taking it moment by moment.  Once, years back, when I was in Italy, visiting my dear old friend the Contessa, I was consumed, eaten, gnawed at, by anxiety. It was so overwhelming I thought I would die – every minute.  And she said: ‘Take each moment and ask yourself: “Am I alright now? Am I alright this very second?”’ This very second. And, weirdly, I found I was.  And, if you're really honest, you usually are – sort of.

And if you string each okay moment onto the next okay moment, like links on a chain, you…kinda meditate actually. 

Anyhow, there you go. And there you are. Alright?  

18 comments:

Everything czyli wszystko said...

... :o)

Bridge Oliver said...

Wonderful. Even just reading this helps! I'm occasionally consumed by anxiety for no apparent reason - it's very physical. This afternoon I'm going to set aside an hour to breathe and not think! Thankyou

Exmoorjane said...

:)

Anita-Clare FIeld said...

Jane, I have learned the power of meditation to get me through some very tough times and I think it's a hugely powerful tool. I am such a feckless article at the moment and I know I need to slow down and breathe just breathe before I lose myself again in a place I don't want to be. Thank you so much for reminding me. xx

Sessha Batto said...

Just breathing is all I can manage lately - a moment by moment life is not so bad ;)

PushchairDad said...

I tend not to get anxious but do find meditation helpful when my mind is running at a million miles an hour with no direction or clarity.

Jobo Pooks said...

Last night I had a dream that I was working in a large factory full of weird machines that no one knew how to fix or what the machines were supposed to be doing - even the bosses. Everyone was running around like headless chickens.

My job was as a cooler and I had to sit on a special bench with a few other coolers and keep very still so that the machinery that was constantly breaking down and no one knew how to fix was cooled by passing it's power source through me and the other coolers.

Despite me telling the factory bosses I could fix the machines with no problems, they told me to shut up and keep still. It was a shit dream because they were then going to give me a go, but I woke up before I got the chance to get my spanners out.

This morning I got a knock back for a job.

PS: I only ever shout at something I can't see in my dreams.

Rob-bear said...

Not all right; half left. But I'm all right for the shape I'm in, so this is good. Indeed!

Everything czyli wszystko said...

Jane... Jobo... How bout get tin pissed to knight to gather? :o)
(our haul 109)

Jay said...

Sometimes, you just need a hug. Or a really filthy night out in Soho. But I agree with this post 100%.

rossmountney said...

Really nice post - great strategy. Very doable. When life hurts you just have to get by any way you can! Hope your hurt goes soon and easy. x

Dump Him Love said...

Thank you Jane you are really helping me at the moment. Nice post and I'm breathing as I write this knowing at this moment I'm ok ��

Tattie Weasle said...

Needed that.

family Affairs said...

Living in the present and breathing - it's the way I'm trying to live at the moment - taking it one breath at a time! Lx

Jobo Pooks said...

amily Affairs said...
Living in the present and breathing - it's the way I'm trying to live at the moment - taking it one breath at a time! Lx
****************
We're all doing it anyway without even trying....lol

Philly Vass said...

Great post, as always Jane x

Anonymous said...

thanks for sharing.

Alison Cross said...

Doing it today. Just moment by moment.

AX