Monday, 10 December 2012

Why I haven't blogged


“You don’t blog anymore.” 
“When are you going to blog again?” 
People (okay, two of them) keep asking me this and, really, the answer is very simple.  I really don’t have anything much to say.  Seriously, my life is so boring, reading about it would be the literary equivalent of watching the proverbial paint dry.

See, right now I’m sitting at my desk, writing my agony aunt column for Natural Health magazine. It’s so cold that I am wearing the following: thermal vest, jumper, fleece, James’ old body warmer/gilet thing; jeans; knee-high boots; James’ bobble hat; fingerless mittens (thanks Zoe!); fleece dressing gown (over legs); plus (obviously) bra, pants, socks (two pairs).  I bear a rather unfortunate resemblance to a Womble or a Victorian invalid swaddled up in a bath chair. 

‘You need a pipe,’ said String on Twitter. 
‘I need a heated keyboard and mouse,’ said I.  And actually, wouldn’t that be wondrous? 
‘You need a small modern house with good insulation,’ said the uber practical Em.

But really, the house can be warm as toast. Yesterday I threw caution to the wind (and probably a shedload of money out through the gaps) and had the heating on. It was bliss. Total, utter bliss.  So blissful in fact that I clean forgot I don’t drink alcohol and downed a bottle of wine out of sheer joie de vivre and warm fuzzy thoughts, stumbled around a bit and promptly fell asleep at 9pm or thereabouts. 

But that was Sunday, oh feckless reckless weekend feeling. Today was back to austerity.  Getting up at 6.30am in the cold and dark possessed its usual lustre of…er…beige.  Usually it takes me about half an hour to summon up the wherewithal.  Today the SP rather helped matters by making retching noises from the bed so I literally hurtled him downstairs and outside before even realizing I was standing stark naked and freezing cold at the door. 

And then we took James in to see the doctor cos he’s got yet another problem. This time apparently it’s Osgood-Schlatter disease (aka tibial tubercle apophyseal traction injury or epephysitis of the tibular tubercle) (yeah, I know...apparently they used to call it simply growing pains). And then Adrian said he’d treat me to a coffee and an almond croissant at Costa Coffee and so we sat there and stared gloomily across the table.  And the croissants were stale and the coffee (decaf capucchino) was kinda luke-warm but neither of us could be arsed to complain. And by then the health shop over the road had opened so I went over and bought a packet of tofu (basil flavoured), a packet of spelt flatbreads and some agave syrup (nice on porridge).  And then we drove back (in the caved in car) and then I piled on the layers and got to work. 

And there you are. And there you have it. A snapshot of my life. 

And that’s why I haven't blogged. :-) 

20 comments:

Sally said...

Only you could write boring so beautifully.

Sarah said...

Good thing you're not the woman in the first pic - you'd freeze!

My suggestion is to buy an electric bedwarmer - they don't use much juice. And a laptop if you don't already have one.

Then you can just work from your bed, all snug as a bug.

Frances said...

Goodness, Jane, how I wish I could share some of my overheated apartment's warmth with you. Can you believe that I actually have to keep a window open? True. The radiators have two options...on or off, no chance of dialing up Mr. Inbetween.

Your wardrobing choices remind me of what I used to wear all those years ago in the very, very chilly downtown loft. So many layers.

Please don't think you could ever be boring! xo

Expat mum said...

Boring perhaps (hey, you should get a load of my life) but very entertaining all the same.

Cait O'Connor said...

Jane, your writing is and never will be boring.

Cait O'Connor said...

Whoops I left out a 'not' there, sorry

Rob-bear said...

Time to fire up your imagination! Or take a trip to Barnstaple. Or learn to fly a plane.

Well, whatever.

Blessings and Bear hugs on a -19C and partly cloudy day in the colony.

Midlife Singlemum said...

Good for you. I'm not so considerate and I bore on regardless. Seriously though - I'm very interested in how it is to be penniless in the UK as I'm now penniless in Israel and thinking of relocating back to be penniless at home.

Elizabeth Musgrave said...

I am suffering a bit from the sensation that I have said everything before so I sort of know what you mean. Mind you, I am with Sally!

Greg Edwards said...

I always enjoy hearing about your boring life.

Ross Mountney said...

Glad I'm not the only writer sitting here with mitts on like Miss Haversham!

Ashen said...

Inspiration stalled, wrapped up and hibernating like you, I bought some bird food, balls in nets, which are now hanging in branches. The little missiles come and go and pick away, while I procrastinate for words to put on Christmas cards.

Traci York said...

Super duper extra warm *hugs* from across the pond!

Marianne said...

Well, I enjoyed reading it and isn't it just what all our lives are like most of the time anyway? Btw, also had a rather depressing Costa yesterday and it was lukewarm too. Time to change allegiance perhaps?

Frankie said...

You missed the opportunity to take this from boring to brilliant by not including a photo of yourself starkers waiting for Soul Puppy to heave.

Anne Wareham said...

Well that post was fine, but the problem surely then is.....when tomorrow is just the same.....

XXXXX

String said...

Heated keyboard and mouse and SEAT cushion (like they have in nice cars) plus cup of chai,slippers, pipe,aromatic tobacco...dog walker...the list, endless!

Dancer said...

I didn't find it boring at all. Just keep writing!

Minerva Black the shoppe keeping cat said...

You clould never be boring no matter how hard you tried! I think all of us become more inward thinkiing in winter though, just too damn cold to be outward. Enjoy Christmas, and see you on pinterest! It is so relaxing, all that stimulation at the flick of a mouse. x

Katie said...

You write so brilliantly it could never be boring, more please!