Wednesday 28 April 2010


'Could you fix these, Mum,’ said James brightly at breakfast. I was mid-way through a bowl of muesli (whilst dreaming of bacon butties) and nodded vaguely. ‘Sure...hand ‘em over.’
I was on a bit of a high, having made a half-decent job of putting a toe-guard on his new cricket bat. I don’t know quite what I was expecting – some item of clothing that had fallen apart maybe. The Stig’s remote control quad bike having crashed at speed. What I wasn’t expecting was two beheaded birds. Okay, before you barf, they were stuffed toys but still... We Need to Talk About Kevin flashed vividly in front of my eyes followed by a quick scan of Good Therapists I Know.
‘Um, oh dear. Er, what happened?’

What IS it with this household? The terrier, when we lived out on the moor, used to love nothing more than beheading pheasants. Even more bizarrely he would sometimes bury the heads, Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence style. So whenever I see a pheasant, I can’t help thinking about David Bowie.

‘Well, the chirping was getting on my nerves so I took out the mechanism.’

He had a good point there. Those RSPB birds are dead cute but some of them have cheeps as monotonous and irritating as any ring tone. So I spent breakfast reattaching the heads onto a (I think) blue tit and some variety of finch. But the image stayed in my head. My dear late friend Sarah Dening was a Jungian psychotherapist and big on metaphors. I could almost hear her voice in my head.

‘So, Jane, what does this image mean, personally, to you?’

Not difficult is it, really? ‘Headless chicken, Sarah,’ I said (sorry, do you find it odd that I talk to dead friends?). It’s really true. I have been scurrying around so much, I’m dizzy.

So this must needs be short and sweet. But I have to just say a huge heartfelt thank-you to everyone who nominated and voted for me in the Author Blog Awards run by Completely Novel. I was very very chuffed and really very over-excited about the whole affair. Being shortlisted was lovely enough but then the fabulous Linda Jones explained that my blog (yes, this very one) was actually the runner-up. Well, bless my soul.

I’ll be back soon. In the meantime, if you don’t believe I’ve been busy, you can catch my ramblings on my The Lady blog here

See something I wrote for the Telegraph on complementary health here

and, if you want something completely different, you can check out the teen novel I’m writing here

Have I missed anything? Probably. Wish someone would sew my head back on.


Alison Cross said...

So, headless RSPCA birds are a metaphor for your headless chook existence at the moment.

Was all set to type a completely different comment....but a massive crumple of dusty cobweb drifted down (from where?!) and settled on top of the keyboard.

*sigh* I'm pretty sure I know what THAT means for me....

Ali xx

PS - congrats on the runner up status :-)

Lorraine said...

I have never seen such a busy woman and yet everything you do is perfect. Love your writings and you are pretty special too. Keep up all the good work. We love it.

Maggie Christie said...

I'm not sure what beheaded stuffed birds symbolise (but even the mention of WNTTAKevin sent shivers up my spine). Congratulations on being runner up.

Exmoorjane said...

Alison - um, dusty cobweb could be metaphor for remembering good things (says hopefully)

Lorraine - you're just lovely!

Mags: I know. I have a poor memory for books but that one stays with me.

Lou Archer said...

I'm not an evil person, (really I'm not...) but those RSPB birds, or the person that invented them, needs decapitating. I can't get through a garden centre with my children, without pausing for a HUGE amount of time to press every-single-belly....phew got that out of my system. Thanks.

Frances said...

Jane, my parents had a clock that chimed each hour with the sound of the bird pictured at "that hour's" position on the clock.

Think about it, a.m. and p.m.

Glady you got those birds back together again. Hoping you do get outdoors some this spring to hear the real birdsong. xo

Ladybird World Mother said...

Well done YOU on the runner up stakes. That is bloody marvellous and so deserved. xxx

DD's Diary said...

I've seen those RSPCB birds and I'm afraid I just wanted to shoot them in the shop - I think your boy has shown enormous restraint beheading them. Huge congrats on the award!!! I shall be boasting that I know you xx

Tattieweasle said...

Yes Huge restraint! The dog disembowled ours ages ago and it was really for headless I read it as heedless and was very confused but it doeswn't take much! Brill about the runner up award!

Elizabeth Musgrave said...

Congrats on the runner up award. I was in a house last week with the very clock that Frances describes! Drove me nutty and the birds would too.
Hope you are finding time for lots of fun too with all this working!