Thursday 13 January 2011

I'm average

I’m average. I am... And it’s fine, it really is. We can’t all be special, you know. :-) 

Actually I’m rather chuffed. A new gym has opened, literally two minutes from my front door and I have been studiously ignoring it; pretending it doesn’t exist; that the people marching down the lane in trainers and day-glo sweatshirts just have dodgy fashion sense.

It’s a bit mad really cos at heart I’m an uber gym-bunny. I caught the bug when I was staying in the States with my brother. He signed me up for his local gym, a spit and sawdust place where I was the only one not on steroids. I think I was also the only woman – but, hey, who knows? Anyhow, I loved it. The big guys were lovely – they’d coax me to one final muscle-tearing rep and send me flying when they high-fived me.

Back in London I joined a smart gym in Covent Garden with my friend Nicky. The guys there would probably have headbutted you it meant they go on the stepper first.  But hey, whatever...we got so fit I even had one of those thong up the backside leotards. Nicky used it as her happy hunting ground for meeting cute guys (the naughty minx even had sex on the sunbed with one of them) but my Celtic skin with its tendency to go puce on extreme exertion rather scuppered my chances. I’ve probably already told you about the guy who chatted me up at a party one evening and then didn’t recognise me on the StairMaster the next day, with my day-glo face and sweat pouring down my nose.

Down to Somerset and more gyms followed, each one smaller and less fancy than the last. Then the council opened what is apparently the UK’s first ‘rural gym’. It’s housed in the old parish rooms hall and, while not remotely large or flash, it is smart and clean and has all you need for a seriously good workout: bikes, treadmills, cross-trainers, rowers plus a comprehensive range of weight machines. At £17 a month, it’s also ridiculously cheap in comparison to most places. So how insane was it that I hadn’t been?

Then, I dunno, something switched in my head. I marched down the road, swept through the door, signed on the dotted line.
I’ve lost a fair bit of weight and I need to firm up, to get strong again. Actually I hadn’t realised quite how MUCH weight I’d lost until Trish, the gym trainer, got me on the scales. 30 pounds. Sheesh.

‘How long has it taken you to lose that?’ she asked.
‘Ummm.’ I looked sheepish. ‘Since November maybe.’
‘Beginning of November?’
‘Sort of...’
‘Bloody hell.’

Why am I so sodding extreme?
She measured my fat, my body mass index, my peak flow, my fitness level.
‘It’s not going to be pretty,’ I warned her. ‘I’ve lost my edge.’
‘Average,’ she said. ‘You’re not as bad as you thought you’d be.’

Hmm. No, I’m not. In fact, in this context, average is just perfect.

Live on Exmoor?  Hey, come and check it out - here  You can also shout at me if I'm cheating - chatting and not running! 


Mrs. Tuna said...

I hate working out, my trainer's name is Eva Braun, Hitler's little girlfriend.

Diney said...

gollleee - you've lost a lot of weight girl! Well done for signing up - I've just come home from the gym after a dancing class lasting 80 mins and I feel GREAT! The hard part is making that move to actually GO, either to the gym or for that run.

Anonymous said...

I could never get away with the gym, I tried it for a short while.

I think the squash, sailing, running, climbing, mountain biking, dog walking, riding and sleeping got in the way!

Two+ years of ME and I am happy with a short walk with the terriers...

...but I will return!

Posie said...

Go girl...good for you, weight loss, and at this time of year??? ...enjoy!! The hills are my local gym, there is one in the village, but cycling on a machine doesn't seem quite right when you are looking across at beautiful hills....

Miss Sadie said...

Sounds like it's almost as much fun as a run in the park, chasing squirrels, or something like that. Things you can't do indoors.

Anonymous said...

You're not average Jane, you're awesome!

Wally B said...

They are going to chisel that on my tombstone.
Congratulations on the weight loss

Elizabeth Musgrave said...

wow! amazing weight loss. I am trying not to be jealous. I used to be a real gym bunny too. Like Posie it seems a bit weird to go to the gym when I live amongst all these beautiful hills. I started running when I came back from Austria but I wimped out when it got wet and dark and cold. I have made a big resolution to get back to yoga which I love but I suspect yoga by itself is only enough if you do it every day by the bucketload. And I don't.
Do an extra set of reps for me.

Unknown said...

Oh're pressing my guilt buttons. Note to self: must get back to gym! We can then compare notes as to which one of us goes more red in the face at points of high exertion on the cross trainer or cardiowave.

trisha said...

Great to see you in the gym again today, good thing about the exmoor gym is the amount of exercise our jaws get with all the chit chat, bet by the time your 6 week review arrives you will be above average,