Friday 11 February 2011

The problem with oracles

The trouble with oracles is that they often aren’t clear-cut. The fatal flaw in believing that the universe is sending you messages is that you might not be reading them right. Know what I mean? Ask the ancient Greeks – that Delphic ditz regularly did their heads in.  I mean, look at her - you can almost hear her thinking, "Hmm, how can I make it really really confusing? Is there a more complicated way I can say that?"  She ought to write technical manuals.

Last night (yup, my usual 2.30am (not)friend) I was reading In The Dark Places of Wisdom about the Phocaeans who asked said oracle where they should go, having been booted out of their home by the Persians. They thought the oracle was telling them to go to build a town on Cyrnus (Corsica) so off they sailed only to get their asses royally whooped by the Corsicans. Eh what? They had done exactly what Apollo said and been almost totally destroyed. No wonder the poor bastards were confused. Then along came a stranger (as they tend to) and said, ‘You got everything wrong.’ Which is why you usually want to fecking thump the stranger. ‘That’s only what you thought. What he was really saying was to build a place for Cyrnus.’

Eh what (again)? Well, Cyrnus did mean Corsica but it was also the name of the son of Hercules. Anyhow, it doesn’t really matter. Though it did to the Phocaeans of course. ‘Everything had seemed so hopeless. But all they had done was interpret the oracle too narrowly, understood it on the physical level instead of at the level of myth.’ Stupid fecking Phocaeans.

Sorry. This is really long-winded. But bear with me. I try to follow the clues, I really do, but I’m beginning to wonder if I get it all wrong; if I’m blindly following a string when the end has been untied (sorry, mythical metaphors really getting tied up in (Gordian?) knots now). Shit. *smites brow*

Last night though (earlier, before the 2.30am interlude), at least, it all seemed pretty clear-cut. I had fed and watered James, watched a few sky burials with him and then sat down to go on the Internet. The screen started to swim. Migraine alert. Weird. I get, what, maybe one a year? But there was no arguing with it: darkened room, eyes shut, no choice whatsoever. The idle though ran through my head, unbidden, that the Louise Hay prescription for migraine is masturbation. Shit, Louise, have you ever tried it when the whole room is pulsating and the lights are flashing (but not in a remotely orgasmic way?). Anyhow, I reckoned that this (the migraine, not the non-masturbation) was a pretty clear message: stay OFF the internet.

But then, today. I was halfway through an email to the Daily Mail (yes, yes, I know) when Everything Died. Power cut. Sooooo? Is the message ‘Don’t go back! Don’t sell your soul to the devil?’ or is it more a case of ‘Hey, you sad loser, the sun is shining and you’re sitting in front of the fecking PC. Grab the moment! Walk the SP!’

See what I mean? You don't? Do I think too much? Don’t answer that. Just a power cut? Ah, whatever. You’re probably right.

Anyhow. We walked and I saw one person in the distance walking towards us over the big field and, instead of veering off the way I usually would, I headed on a collision course. And the person turned out to be my friend Maggie. And she turned around and walked with us again. And the big field worked its magic in its usual way. And it was good.

And...this will make you laugh. I came back to find the power was back on and that I’d been invited, nay summoned, to a four-day course called Sort Your Life Out. With this guyHere. This Sunday. Sort out my life in four days? Bring it on, sunshine.


Viv said...

Have you ever come across a book called When Oracles Speak by Dianne Skafte? Excellet book on oracles.
My personal take is to use two separate oracles, and when the two seem sufficiently in tune, then I take it as real.
I wrote an article about oracles on my blog, you might like. Article is entitled Spelt from Sibyl's leaves.
And ignore EVERYTHING that Hay woman says. She's talking out of her arse!!
Viv (guinea pig 66 on Twitter)

Exmoorjane said...

Viv: Oooh, no, I haven't. Shall check it out. Hmm, that's an interesting thought. I have never mixed my oracles (don't you love the sound of that?) but mebbe I will give it a go. Ah but Louise Hay makes me LAUGH. Even when she's taking out of her arse - or, as she would say, "I love and appreciate my awesome arse and my beautiful bowels.' :)
can't reply to you on Twitter btw -that particular oracle is blocking me right now. ;)

Milla said...

Oracles, disappointing things. And thinking the universe is venting its (understandable) spleen at witnessing you communing with the devil that is the DM, well, surely, that way madness lies. And you're not mad. Are you??

Exmoorjane said...

Milla: I dunno, hon. You tell me! You're the one who listens to fecking Morrissey! :)

Lou Archer said...

I like the stuff in your head. I too see 'signs' all around me...... but usually, by the time I've clocked the signs, like the Phoecaeans, it's too late.

Used to do this thing with cards when I was a teenager...
'If the next card is an ace, he fancies me'
'I mean if the next card is a heart, he fancies me'
NO HEART.... exactly!
'Right. If the next card is a Heart, Spade, Club or Diamond, he fancies me....'

I haven't really progressed.

Anonymous said...

I had a power cut this week after a migraine- lack of sleep is a real trigger for them with me. Taking nux vom as soon as the screen is swimming( or the in my cas it's usually the telly!) sorts them immediately so I have to have it to hand.

Unknown said...

well i never knew that about migraines. not the first thing i'd think of doing when mine kick in to be honest!

Anonymous said...

Oh - and I would say this, but have to say Pete did sort my life out- dunno about 4 days though - took about half an hour and a chat about The Life of Brian ;)

Michele Brenton aka banana_the_poet said...

I think I've only ever had one migraine and it didn't hurt I just lost all vision from a horizontal line that cut verything in half and was just black at the bottom. It was weird.

My Mum gets them a lot though.

I've never had a 'sign' either. I heard myself talking to myself once and it was in the morning and I hadn't been drinking or anything and I wasn't speaking and it was like a voice from somewhere else. But no instructions - just a "Don't worry so much everything will be ok in the end" message.

I'm not convinced - you know when they say , "You're your own worst enemy." What if that message from me is some time in the future when I am my own worst enemy and I'm trying to lull myself into sense of false security?

That would be just like the sort of thing I'd do if I was being my enemy.

Glad you had a nice walk. XXX

PS I forgot the sob story in the last comment on the last post. But I've promised online not to moan for a week so I couldn't have done that bit anyway. Take it as going without saying ;)

Tattieweasle said...

Oh Horrocks you mean the universe has been talking to me all all along and I've not noticed as I've been off in my own little world - figures!

Cait O'Connor said...

I know what you mean about oracles, I am a great believer in signs though. Do you use Angel cards? I often turn to those or the Tarot if I feel the need for guidance I hope you enjoy the workshop, I look forward to hearing about it.
Lack of sleep gives me migraines too and not eating or drinking enough. Stress too of course.

Eliza said...

Enjoy the course, maybe I could sneak in with you :-)
Hope the migraines completely gone now.

Taz said...

I'm fed up of saying things happen for a reason.
Are they signs? If they are then maybe I should worry.
Masturbation to stop a migraine? Hmmm wonder if that theory would work on other aspects of life? :)

F said...

I'm a great believer in synchronicity. I know it's not exactly the same thing as an oracle, but I like the idea that in a random and haphazard universe, there's room for interpreting meaning in improbable coincidences.

Exmoorjane said...

Lou: *grin* - know what you mean! Do we ever really grow up??

Sheena: I get them SO rarely...but will try to remember the nux for next time. Get off the TV, girl!

IO: well, quite. Not sure it's scientific!!

Sheena (again): actually, you know, I'm not entirely sure I want to be sorted out!

Michele: pretty much like mine really - serious visual disturbance (which is my warning to shut down). Hmm....interesting your voice - but, heck girl, you're even more paranoid than I am!!! Why couldn't it be a nice comforting voice from the future?

Tattie: you betcha! :)

Cait: Ah, I remember your angel cards so fondly and so well. No, I don't use that. I figured three oracles plus the universe shouting and flirting was enough for anyone!!

Eliza: yup, all gone, thank you. And sure, sneak along....I have a large rucksack!

Taz: the 'things happen for a reason' thing is kinda interesting and not simple...thing is, we'll never really know what might have happened if we hadn't...

Frankie: exactly! When I say oracle it's another form of synchronicity... Just hve to listen, look, feel. :)