So, I’ve been pondering. About how you make things happen; about whether you should make things happen, come to that. Recently a lot of people have been talking
(or not talking) about determination; about force of will; about how you have
to have total utter single-minded determination if you want to achieve something.
‘You can achieve anything,’ one of the
somebodys said. ‘You just have to be totally determined.’ Which is fine – to a point. I mean, I was watching a snippet on TV about
sports psychology and how athletes have to focus entirely on themselves as that
is the only part they can possibly influence.
It goes back to that ‘what is your business?’ question, right?
‘And if you’re up against something much,
much bigger than yourself?’ I said. ‘What about if you’re up against something
vast and complicated?’
‘You have to figure out the important
players,’ she said firmly. ‘And then work out precisely how to influence them.’
And that, of course, is how politics works.
Which brings one into the consideration of
ethics. What if what you want conflicts
with other people’s needs and desires?
Then what? Is it ethical, is it
right to push your determination out there?
To barrage your will? Personally
I don’t think so.
And often, you know, it can backfire. I may have told you this story before but it
bears repeating. My mother, many years
ago, wanted a house. She really really
really wanted it. So much. It was her dream – a beautiful peaceful place
in the countryside.
So she fought, tooth and nail. She coerced, she influenced, she
schemed, she plotted, she cajoled. At
one point, when it wasn’t going well and it looked like all her plans might
fall to dust, she cast the I Ching (we were that kind of family). The hexagram talked of the concept of wu wei. ‘It means I shouldn’t push so hard, I guess,’
she said. Then she sighed, shrugged and started
pushing a bit harder.
Do we ever listen to oracles? *smile*
She got the house. It was beautiful. She
loved it and was very happy there. But… to
cut a long and depressing story short, that place ended up wrecking my parents’
business and bankrupting my father. They
lost the house. They lost everything, in fact, and fetched up in a rented
flat above a shop.
And Mum turned to me one day and said, ‘You
remember when I did the I Ching? I should have listened to it, shouldn’t
I? Wu wei, eh?’
Consequences. It’s why the whole ‘cosmic ordering’ thingy bothers
me. As if you can just turn up your eyes
to the universe and say, ‘I want this. I deserve this. I choose this. Gimme!’
and sod everything else that might have to readjust itself for you to get your
way. It’s kinda childlike in a bit of a
greedy grasping way somehow. And do we
ever really know what is best for us? We
may think we know but hey, be careful what you wish for, as the saying goes.
But.
Then again, I do believe thought is creative. I do feel that we influence our world (yes,
even the physical world) by our thoughts and beliefs. But that maybe it calls, not for
bloody-minded determination but rather for a sort of quiet inner conviction, an alignment
of oneself with what should be. For if
one is totally congruent, completely sure and certain (in a quiet inner way)
then maybe things just change, all of their own accord.
Is it wu wei? Sort of.
Wu wei is commonly translated as lack of action, non-action, not
doing. But I don’t feel total passivity
is quite right. Cos, let’s face it, you
won’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket. And you won’t write a bestseller if you don’t
start typing. Yes, you can meander around the 'If it's meant, it will happen' cycle of thought patterns but, well, I still think you need to get off your butt a bit. So I prefer the alternative translation of ‘effortless
action’ – so you do act, but in a natural, fluid, organic way. It’s an inner alchemy maybe…
Or...‘It’s dancing,’ I said to the somebody,
trying to explain my feeling and failing dismally. ‘It’s not barging; it’s not
pushing and bludgeoning. It’s… surfing,
maybe. Finding the right wave and riding
it, rather than swimming against the current.’
Or not getting on the surf board in the first place.
She looked doubtful.
Ach, I dunno. I can feel it but words fail
when describing it. What do you feel?
7 comments:
Re "be careful what you wish for" - my dream, while working as a civil servant, was to have lots of time in which to produce art, and a small private income on which to live. Nice, eh? Well, I developed a health problem which meant I had to take medical retirement, so I now have all the time in the world, a SMALL pension, and DAILY PAIN !!!
I am now very, very careful about what I wish for!
I also don't believe in pushing life too hard. If you force a situation, or other people, sooner or later it seems to backfire. That's not the same as striving to make yourself the best you can be, though, and yes, you do have to buy one lottery ticket or premium bond, but to spend all effort/money on one obsession is not healthy.
Anon's comment reminded me of the famous story: The Monkey's Paw. Scary.
I have a book called: The Unmistakable Touch of Grace by Cheryl Richardson (Free Press,NY, 2005). It's about exactly what you describe. Richardson says that there are too many variables and too many people you'd have to control in order to get exactly what you think you want every time. Instead you should stand back a bit sometimes and let the universe give you what you deserve and (usually) what you needed all along. She says the universe knows better than we do what we need. However you can't force it and tell it exactly how to give it to you. You can say I want to be happy and secure but you can't tell it exactly which house and partner will make you feel that way. Look at all the coincidences that are part of many a success story.
Oh I like 'effortless,' my favourite song sheet. As you say - finding the right wave and riding it, rather than swimming against the current - it seems ideal, the dance. Sometimes though we must battle against the current. Your post inspires me to do a write up on the basic archetypal wheel, sometime soon. August is a bitch, must help my father move.
In focusing on something that is wanted the lack of that very thing is also focused on; it has to be, otherwise it would be manifest now.
In focusing on the lack of something, does not the lack continue to manifest?
Do we not make things happen constantly as now unfolds?
Is not the most satisfying part of creating something the process rather than the outcome?
Do we not always have everything we need?
Could it be that most people imagine material, physical "things" will supply them with the feelings they ultimately require?
Could it be that: Feelings that are free require no tools other than thought to manifest them.
In removong the wants, does this not also remove the lacks?
Ask: What is the difference between tolerance and allowance....
@Anonymous - Yup, like Rachel, the Monkey's Paw came to mind there too - in the fairy tales you always had to be VERY precise about your wish, right?
@Rachel - Yup, giving the universe a bit of leeway makes sense. Assuming the universe knows or cares of course. :)
@Ashen - I'm not a good swimmer. :) Good luck with your father's move.
@Jobo - Absolutely. :)
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