Monday 29 November 2010

On the first day of Christmas - tra la la!

I am becoming a total miserable old bag.  A right Scrooge.

‘I need new clothes,’ said James. What? I’d just bought the little blighter six new pairs of socks – what more could he possibly want?
‘It’s for the Gut.’
The what? The Gut, it transpires, is a pre-Christmas, end of term feast at school. Formal wear is required.
‘You what?’ He’s twelve years old and he needs a DJ?
‘No, of course I don’t need a DJ. I can wear my school trousers but I do need a decent shirt and tie.’
‘Can’t he wear my Guild of British Beer Writers’ tie?’ chimed in Adrian.
‘Oh don’t be silly.’

So I’ve been trawling websites looking for suitable apparel. I rather liked this (left) from Next - but I'm not sure the boy is suitably impressed.  Inevitably we will leave it to the very last minute and then he'll be sorry he didn't snap off my hand at the chance, as we shoehorn him into last year's too small smart shirt and team it with the way too big tie his father wore at our wedding.

I won’t be bothering to find party apparel for me. I have decided that I shall become a recluse. That way it won’t matter if I become the size of a large bungalow. I shall become the batty old lady who lives at the top of the hill and small children will cross their fingers as they go past the house. I shall lurk at home and buy essentials via the Internet.

Actually I am in total denial about Christmas. I’m sort of hoping that if I shut my eyes it might not know I’m here and go away.  I have this image of Christmas which goes something like this...(though, frankly, her legs look cold)...and no way would that dog keep a string of baubles on its back (well ours wouldn't).

Whereas, in my heart of hearts, it's more likely to end up like this....possibly with party hats... and hopefully clothes.

But, really this won’t do. So I’m going to try to get myself into the spirit here on the jolly old blog (do you think it's working yet?).

Funnily enough, having been talking about Next, they got in touch asking if I'd like to spread some festive cheer on my blog.  I replied that I was in the middle of blogging about precisely that and they gave me a jolly little icon to help me on my way.  In fact, they gave me twelve so maybe I'll try to spit out twelve little gobbets of festive frolic.  What you reckon?  Can I make it?  Or will I collapse by the time we get to five gold rings?


Dragonfly Dreams said...

I've been wondering where my Christmas spirit has gotten itself to as well...if you find yours, let me know. They can be so sneaky when they hide!

Exmoorjane said...

Last week it was my muse; now it's my Christmas spirit. Yup, DD, I'll send yours home if I find him/her... :)

Wally B said...

When it gets you down, and if you are like me, it is already starting to piss me off, you need to listen to Frank Kelly's version of the 12 days of Christmas. It will see you through. Here's a link on Youtube.

Northern Snippet said...

Mine left me totally last Friday in Waitrose the minute I clapped eyes on the fresh brandy sauce on sale that would be out of date before the actual day..and the inordinate number of shoppers that stopped me from doing my shop in the usual quick time.
Sorry I'm very Bah Humbug..

Rona Amiss said...

Forget Christmas, you can start to get all excited about the royal wedding. Fancy a new hat my dear?

Expat mum said...

Oh no - I've been in the States too long. I read the post title and thought you were talking about a Disc Jockey (for a party perhaps). Over here it's a tux!

Carah Boden said...

You know Jane, there is something a little curious about you and me. Whenever I pop onto your site, after weeks of shameful neglect, I find something incredibly relevant. Given the appalling lengths of time between my visits, it is extraordinarily serendipitous, not to say a little spooky! Not only have I just had a weekend of being exasperated by trying to buy clothes for eldest daughter who's suddenly gone all teenage and awkward about it all, but I was also drawn to the Link Within after this post (and no, I'm not exactly in the mood for Christmas yet myself) - the beautiful blue picture which draws you into reading about why we might blog (I haven't answered this question yet by the way, but do intend to). So I innocently click on it and suddenly find a post I never knew you had written which includes a link and an urging of people to support that cause that meant so much to me and on which I spent a year of my life. What's more, it was written on the 8th June, which is my birthday. You see? Such strange but meaningful coincidences. The power of the blogosphere indeed. The power of (virtual) friendship. Thank you, dear Jane. :-)xx
I hope we'll meet one day soon, though I feel I know you already.

Chris Stovell said...

Jeez, I can't bear all the palaver of Christmas. The very best Christmas present I could have would be for someone to do all my Christmas shopping for me, send me off to a hot beach and collect me when it's all over.