My Christmas diet

Ooops. Wrong search. :-)

I’m on a diet.  Well, not a real ‘diet’ diet cos I don’t do those, but really I’ve been getting a bit lardy lately and something had to be done. You know, this food stuff catches up on you.  You go to a party and are loafing around by some occasional table with a huge bowl of stuffed sweet chilli peppers and you pop one in your mouth because they’re there and you think, mmm, that was nice, in fact that was damn nice and so you have another one and another one and then you start looking round in case people notice you’re being a greedy little cow.  And then, before you know it, the bowl is looking suspiciously empty and so you shift the few remaining around so the plague of locusts doesn't look quite so obvious, move on and stand by another table and lo, that one has crisps or peanuts or what have you and lo, the same thing happens.

Yup, that's probably him. 

So. It’s fine stuffing your face if you also exercise like a crazy loon.  I have tested this theory and it works – but it takes SERIOUS exercise.  And, to my huge sadness, my exercise quotient has dropped.  First to go was my yoga class.  Now I LOVED my yoga class so so so much.  Really it was 90 minutes of pure joy.  But then my yoga teacher announces he’s up and awaying to India, to work in the slums of Mumbai.  I mean – what can you say?  It would be beyond inappropriate to bleat that actually any old sod could do that but not anybody could unravel Dulverton’s collective knots and kinks. Charity begins at home?  Sigh. 

And then my lovely Zumba teacher announced that she was going to stop Wednesday Zumba because she was overdoing it.  That she needed to get some balance in her life.  And I get that.  She really does have to eat mountains to keep up with the calories she expends doing gazillions of classes a week as well as running.   And her classes aren’t like normal classes – forget all that nice stuff you see on YouTube – she would go mental and have us flinging around monstrous heavy weights while dancing like nutters. And yes, someone really did break her wrist doing MoshZumba to Black Sabbath.  So that just leaves Kettlebells (twice a week, once in church; once by the river) and Power Pilates (yeah, with heavy weights).  But that ain’t enough.  And, anyhow, now ALL the teachers have decided to stop for Christmas and eat mince pies instead.

Not the cream ones - they're mank.

Yes, I could do it for myself.  And, to be fair, I do walk the SP a lot, and I bounce on my rebounder, and do crunches by the fire, and so on.  And I must, must MUST get back to doing my Tibetans.  But, frankly, right now it’s easier just to…not eat so much. 

It’s not a hardship actually. I don’t really like most of the traditional Christmas nosh.  Mince pies and Christmas cake leave me cold.  I don’t eat meat and try to steer clear of dairy and wheat too (my body really doesn't enjoy them) so that cuts out a large swathe of the rest of the festive fare.   So.  I started off with a couple of days fasting and now I’m on the next phase of the tofu, red wine and Quality Street diet.  Anyone wanna join me?  J

PS. What will I eat for Christmas lunch?  Roast vegetables.  Followed by Turkish Delight.

PPS.  Off to the inlaws tomorrow.  They’re taking us to eat at Zeus, a Greek restaurant in Plymouth.  Apparently the steaks are good. I shall probably have chips.  J

PPPS.  To amuse you, I have posted this picture of me last night, after two hours of exercise – hot, sweaty, not a scrap of makeup.  And yeah, that's an England rugby T-shirt.  And yeah, those are reindeer antlers. What of it?