Jane's Christmas Gift Guide for the Terminally Difficult

I miss doing Christmas gift guides. I used to love moseying round shops, scrolling through websites, trying to find really lovely, unusual things for tricky people. It was a great way of getting all one's presents sorted out really early too.  However, sadly, this year nobody has asked. *whistles quietly and  mournfully*.  So, I figured I’d do a small one here....just a few rather nice or plain weird things for the awkward squad in the house. 

FOR MOODY STUDENTS: The Dead Beat by Cody James (Eight Cuts, £6).
Indie-literature at its best...from one of the coolest writers going. If this doesn’t gain you instant brownie-points and your tricky angsty relative immediate street cred, I despair. I mean, look at the cover for starters.  None of your sell-out mainstream publishers here, no sirree.  Even if they don't read it, it'll look great slung on a beer crate coffee table or poking out of a rucksack. 
Yes, there’s drinking, and drugs and swearing and sex - not forgetting comets. Well, of COURSE there is. Doh!




FOR FINICKETY FOODIES: Argan oil (from £8.50). Oh ye gods, I LOVE LOVE LOVE this stuff. Amazingly it still hasn’t hit the mainstream but it’s only a matter of time. Drizzle it on salads or pasta or simply pop some in a bowl and use it for dunking good bread. Tastes nutty and gorgeous AND it’s good for you!
Actually, have a browse right around the site because you don't have to just splosh it on your food; you can whack it on your face too.  I swear by their facial oils - scented with sandalwood, neroli, rose...they really work and at a fraction of the price of the big cosmetics houses' creams and serums.


FOR GORGEOUS GIRLIES: Mili B Bottom Chic.  Seriously nice knickers for girls of all ages (from teeny tots through trendy teenagers to, um, the more matronly). These are designed by a pal of mine for maximum comfort and total gorgeousness (a rare combination). From £8. Oh, and there are bras and camisoles and other frilly things. Men – take note – this is a win-win... ditch the slimy red satin tat and go for the real deal.
Check out the baby pants too - soooo cute.  Only problem is picking the colourways - I'm partial to the pale blue and brown myself. ;)



FOR BASICALLY MOST MEN: 1001 Beers you Must Try Before you Die. Edited by my dear husband, Adrian Tierney-Jones. This is beer porn, pure and simple. Luscious pictures of uber-beers from all around the world. There is a Facebook group devoted to trying every one of these – I kid you not. Seriously, it sorts out most blokes. Also available in the US from amazon.com (with the slightly different title of 1001 Beers you Must Taste Before you Die). But if not....

FOR UNCLE KEVIN AND OTHER AWKWARD SODS: Beer Cans of Birmingham (£9.79) by Elizabeth Tipping. I’ve mentioned this before because it just tickles me pink. A calendar featuring abandoned beer (and cider) cans in their found settings around scenic Birmingham. Actually, it’s not just a silly joke calendar – the photography is really very lovely. Okay, so one daft sod pointed out that there is a bottle included.  Oh, get a life! 

FOR WOMEN YOU DON’T KNOW TOO WELL: Comfort Candle. Yes, it may be a bit of a cliché but I don’t know many women who don’t like good scented candles (note the emphasis on good). Okay so I can think of one notable exception but generally it holds true.  They don’t come much better than Aromatherapy Associates’ (you know I adore their stuff). The old Relax candle is still my all-time favourite but the new Comfort Candle (£24) is a cracker. It’s scented with rose and ginger (an unusual combo that actually works brilliantly) which are uplifting and warming. Aaah.

FOR MYSTIC MEGS: The Mind Body Spirit Miscellany by, ahem, Jane Alexander (£8.40). A cute little hardback book with a ton of information on how to build crop circles, find leylines and identify various Norse ghosts. Essential stuff really. Also available in the US from amazon.com







FOR FUNKY BABIES: Red-knit romper. I really miss buying James a special Christmas outfit. For his first Christmas he had the softest fleecy babygro with a hood and the most tasteful little reindeer on the front.  So many festive offerings are deeply naff but this ticks all the style boxes – berry red with a cosy hood; there's a bit of fairisle going on and different coloured buttons. Sigh. Almost makes me wish I had a baby. Yes, it's a bit pricey at £14 but hey, it's Christmas.

Actually, I am also pretty smitten by some absolutely gorgeous bootees too (Elf, Santa, Reindeer or just plain heavenly fake mink!) Scroll down to see the pics...(I am not too good at arranging stuff properly on the blog....)

deeply cute for carol singing or Christmas parties...



just HOW flipping gorgeous are these?

Bootees available from http://www.next.co.uk/ 

If you find my muse, send him home please

Alas, my poor blog. I’ve neglected it of late. Blame that wretched NaNoWriMo. I thought that it might kickstart me into writing another novel (I know, I know, I'm a sucker for punishment). But so far it’s just making me miserable. I’m not entirely sure I’m a ‘crank it out in a month’ type of writer – no, not even a first rough draft.  But, hey, I've got a cover, I've got a title and there are some seriously bizarre images and scenes ratcheting round my head. 


I’m still trying to track down my muse. He’s a cranky sod – gorgeous, beguiling and totally inspiring – but he doesn’t half play hard to get. I’ve got his favourite music playing; I’m burning the right kind of candles but he’s still acting coy. I caught a glimpse of him the other day and played it very cool; didn’t want to startle him into racing off in the opposite direction. And, like a beautiful wild horse, he’s starting to edge closer, every sinew quivering. But I’m not going to hurry it. If I write my word count, that’s great. If not, well, so be it.

In other news.

• I have a stinking cold and am feeling mightily sorry for myself.

• In hopes he doesn’t get it, I’m dosing up James with Fitvits Gummy Bears (multi-vit supplement that he would eat like sweets, given the chance).  I think these are great actually - particularly good if you have a picky eater, to ensure they get all the micronutrients they need. 

• I’m laughing my socks off at Beer Cans of Birmingham – the perfect present for that ‘difficult to please’ man in your life. Though, actually, the photographs are seriously lovely so I'd have it on my kitchen wall anyday. 

• I’ve been reading a lot of deeply indifferent books (aside from Room, which blew my mind).  I was hyperventilating as the little boy tried the escape plan.

• I’m pampering myself with Connock’s delicious bath oil. Massage it into the skin and then pop in the bath – even my rough old hide turned silky smooth. Hey, muse, d’you hear that?? Ah, what the heck.

• I’m wearing the deeply decadent Elle’s Spell on my fingernails.  And, when I'm not feeling in a red and frisky mood, I switch to Coalest Day of the Year, which is deliciously disturbingly dark and gothic.

• I’m loving Danger Mouse’s Dark Night of the Soul.  Look, what's not to like about an album that includes guest slots by David Lynch, Suzanne Vega and Iggy Pop? Favourite track so far is Angel's Harp (a right old growler).

• I’m looking forward to reading The Dead Beat by Cody James (my favourite deep dark indie author).

• I’m bemused (but can’t deny I’m chuffed) that Samael has suddenly shot up the charts on Authonomy.