Sunday 24 April 2011

The path up through the woods

We are all on journeys. I had paused on mine and made camp for around twenty years or so. Then, about five months ago, everything shifted. It was time to pick up my knapsack again and start up the narrow track once again. I’ll write about it properly one day; from the very beginning. Not right now though.

When you’re ready (or maybe when you’re really not ready) the path will shine. People, animals, things appear like beautiful gifts. I was blessed. I am blessed. Then, sometimes, these angels and gifts vanish – unexpectedly, blindsidingly – and it’s as if you’ve been abandoned in the desert, without a map, without food or water.

But then. Just as you feel you can’t go on. That you really are alone. That there are no messages; no miracles; no magic. That the sweet companions of the road have abandoned you. That really there is only oblivion. Then. Then. Then.

Something happens. And you pick up your knapsack again. Sad but resolved.

She emailed me. ‘I knew you’d post,’ She said. ‘This is the next stage of the journey and this time, you should share it.’ And She reminded me that I’d signed the Pact. So I’ll try. I’ll try, try, try again.

And last night I dreamed that I knew the way. That there was a path and it was narrow and it was steep and it went up through the woods. But it was signposted, clear as day, and people were meandering up towards it. But I knew, suddenly, that it was easy, so easy. I knew I could do it and I started to run, laughing, knowing I could run the whole way up at an easy lope. Run up that hill and not lose breath, not once.

And then, this morning, a friend messaged me and said. ‘I dreamed about you last night and it was the strangest thing – a light hovering above me, all around me, and it changed from blue to orange and it smiled and it was you.’ But of course it did. Of course it was.

I’m not entirely sure where the path will lead along its way but it’s going to be interesting. And, if you’d like to come along, you are very very welcome. I can’t tell you about the Pact. Not yet. You have to wait – and trust – just like me.


Anonymous said...

excellent news.
I shall wait, my own knapsack has seldom been unpacked.

Exmoorjane said...

Viv: *smile* I know. This may be a rapture, you do know that, don't you? :) Yes, of course you do.

Sessha Batto said...

A journey, a quest . . . of course I'm coming ;)

Exmoorjane said...

Sessh: you have no idea how damn right you are.... :)

Anonymous said...

Whow - breathless! I was so moved by this post, I had to scroll down and read your other posts. Written from the heart but easy to identify with - what does that say about me. My knapsack sits in the corner staring at me, waiting for the next time it is used.

Anonymous said...

I saw the film Thief in the Night when I was about 17 and it gave me nightmares. Larry Norman singing the theme song. Hideous concept, the rapture as touted by some Christians.
I'm not sure what all this means but it has to mean something.

Exmoorjane said...

Ronnie: wow, thank your blog too...

Viv: there is an element of carrying off and of mystical ecstasy in there...and yes, some will come along, and some will stay behind but fear not, all will be well. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm thrilled for you and can't wait to follow the journey with you.

Eliza said...

Been at my campsite waiting for ever! Will look forward to reading about you following your path.