Wednesday 13 April 2011

Revealing the real "me"?

I haven’t been tagged in a meme for positively years. But my dear mucker Laura has done the dirty. Apparently this originated in The Guardian Weekend mag and the answers have the power to reveal the ‘real you’. I’m always trying to discover/uncover/whatever the real me so I figured – why not? – and merrily ignored my inrushing deadline to pay it some thought.

When were you happiest? Oh God, question one and I’m struggling already. I don’t really do long periods of happiness. I think it has to be those rare ‘flow’ moments that come, unexpectedly, out of nowhere and set your entire body and brain tingling. For some bizarre reason the one that sticks in my mind was driving across London Bridge in my VW Beetle as the sun was setting. I had a sudden feeling of ‘YESSSS!!!’ I was about 23. Jumping off a mountain in Austria was pretty cool too.

What was your most embarrassing moment? Hmm. There are many candidates and I’ve confessed plenty in the past. Being told to ‘fuck off’ by Bob Geldof made me wince at the time but, on reflection, I don’t think it was personal. Discussing the ELLE sex survey on live TV was pretty cringe-worthy – I spoke in an unstoppable torrent of totally inadvertent innuendo.

Aside from property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought? Boring answer – car. Not even a good car either...crappy Toyota RAV4.

What is your most treasured possession? I don’t really go a bundle on stuff. I love things James makes for me and I'm superglued to my iPod. I’d hate to live without my PC – does that count?

Where would you like to live? I’m happy where I am but would love to travel for part of the year. I’d definitely like to bale out of the UK for January and February. Love the US, adore Greece and Egypt. So much of the world I don’t know but would love to meet. Would it be greedy to have a crash-pad in London too?

What’s your favourite smell? Woodsmoke.

Who would play you in the film of your life? Tilda Swinton, please.

What is your favourite book? Sorry – gotta cheat and have three and all spiritual, not novels. The I Ching; A Practical Guide to Qabalistic Symbolism;  Symphonic Bridges.

What is your most unappealing habit? Readjusting shop displays and pointing out abuse of apostrophes.

What would be your fancy dress costume of choice? Trinity from The Matrix. Worked that look pretty well a few years back with boot polish in my hair.

What is your earliest memory? Lying in my pram looking up at a hedge and seeing hundreds of caterpillars.

What is your guiltiest pleasure? Chatting on the Internet.

What do you owe your parents? Genetic gloom, existential angst, long legs, big tits and a broad mind.

To whom would you like to say sorry, and why? Terry Waite (for saying he was smelly) and (oh God) the smelly girl in my girl guide patrol.  Note to self: sweat isn't a sin.
What does love feel like? Depends on the love. Warm sun on bare skin, melon sorbet on the tongue or jump leads to the heart.

What was the best kiss of your life? North London. Mid 80s. Random party. Random guy. Sheesh.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? ‘Shit yeah’; ‘to be honest’; ‘Oh FFS’; ‘Sorry’.

What is the worst job you have ever done? Filing for the Immigration Office. I won’t tell you what I did to pass the time.

If you could edit your past, what would you change? I would love to have had a daughter (as well as a son). And I said no a few times when maybe I should have said yes...but then again...

What is the closest you have come to death? Blow-out at 90mph on the middle lane of a US highway. Time really did slow.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? My son. Simples.

When did you last cry and why? A few weeks ago. But I cry at anything. Music usually sets me off – I have been known to sob at adverts if they include the right minor chord.

How do you relax? Seriously tough aerobic exercise. Or seriously tough hard massage. Or seriously tough hard... never mind.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life? Enough money to follow my heart rather than chase bills.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you? I know nothing. Be kind. Okay, so that's two but they're linked. 

Now then....time to tag?  Okay, here are the people to whom I say - 'reveal, reveal'....



elsie anderton said...

being told to 'fuck off' by Bob Geldof is one of life's achievements!
like your new look by the way.

Anonymous said...

The word verif says Be I shall....

Among Amid While said...

Hm, yes, I'd be pleased if Tilda Swinton played me too—suspect I'll end up with Sally Field or Carrie Fisher, though! No, they're too short. Charlotte Rampling with brown contacts? :D

Exmoorjane said...

Elsie: I dunno, think I am one of a club of thousands!

Viv: hmm, thought you might... :)

AAW: hey, didn't know you had a blog. Zombies eh? Bloody things get everywhere! Couldn't a unicorn gore 'em to bits? Tilda would be SO cool, wouldn't she?

family affairs said...

Thats all interesting stuff - how old were you when you last lay in a pram??? My memories start about age 10 and then end again late 30's!! Lx

Alison Cross said...

St Bob of Geldolf told you to fuck off?Man, I'd've had that embroidered onto a T-shirt! *impressed face*

Actually I've got my impressed face on all the way through this blog post...and now am wearing my very own *FFS face* as I realise that I can't follow this particular act!!! You've done TONS and I've bought a mixer......

Thank you for tagging me, Jane! I'll do my best :-)

Ali x

Fran Hill said...

Your caterpillar moment sounds like a scene from a nasty horror movie - or it could be one. Good answers - enjoyed the post!

Frances said...

Oh Jane, I do thank you for that tag, and promise to eventually send you some answers via e-mail, but truly cannot put 'em in my blog.

Maybe someday.


France said...

Hi Webmaster, commenter’s and everybody else!!! The blog was absolutely fantastic! Lots of great information and inspiration, both of which we all need! Keep 'them coming... you all do such a great job at such Concepts... can't tell you how much I, for one appreciate all you do!

Eva Maria Chapman said...

I was impressed by your honesty and sense of fun. And by the way where can you get a hard massage in Exmoor? I'd like to know.

Exmoorjane said...

Hard (and good!) massage on Exmoor is indeed hard to find. There's someone at Rose & Crown in S Molton who does Chavutti Thirumal (Indian rope massage) which is pretty damn good..

Tattieweasle said...

God your parents were kind you got long legs, and a broad mind I got short legs, and broad hips but hey we both got big tits, doom and gloom...Always knew there were reasons I liked you!!!

Devon Ellington said...

The questions reveal the you of the moment -- the "real you" is far more complex than any list of questions could ever uncover.

JD Revene said...

North London mid 80s. Hmm, no couldn't have been ;)

Jobo Pooks said...

Don't feel sorry for Terry Waite. He did alright out of his incarceration. I mean....he passed his PHd in Radiators with ease....