Monday 20 April 2015

Detox Diary Day Two

So, I slept for ten hours straight (hugely unusual) and woke up feeling...absolutely deathly.  My head was hammering as if I'd downed an entire bottle of Tequila.  I got out of bed - gingerly - and crashed back down again.  Dizzy, weak, totally pathetic.
Detox headache?  It's common when you come off coffee but I rarely drink coffee.  Then I had a pee and realised what had gone wrong.  Now then, we're not going to be squeamish, are we?  Because the thing you have to realise about going on a detox is that everyone - even the most fastidious - ends up talking almost obsessively about bodily functions.  In deep detail.  Just remember this.

Anyhow, my urine was the colour of a Double IPA (can't you tell I'm married to a beer writer?) - in other words I was hugely dehydrated.  My own fault entirely.
I really did feel rubbish, to the point that a pint of freshly squeezed orange juice (as in taken from the trees and squeezed) made me feel queasy.  Okay, so let's explain here.  It wasn't just orange juice. Three times a day you take a container with an inch of Bentonite clay in it - you add a bit of juice, and then two teaspoons of Psyllium husk and then shake it like crazy.  Why?  Cos if you don't, the whole thing congeals and turns into stomach-chuning fetid porridge.
The Bentonite clay acts like a sponge and apparently it can absorb 40 times or more its own weight in toxins, bacteria and parasites. Yum. It yanks these along with mucoid layers (I did warn you!) from the walls of the intestinal tract.  The Psyllium husk swells and acts like a broom, sweeping the loosened gunk from the intestines.  Together they push everything down from the small to the large intestine.

Next up was yoga and, while all I really wanted to do was crawl back to bed and sink into blissful unconsciousness, I padded over to the yoga temple.  Not because I'm just a total goody two shoes who does everything she's told but because I know from experience that if you do good yoga on a juice fast, you feel great.  If you don't, you feel crap.

And, true to form, I came out two hours later feeling pretty tip top tickety boo.

It's amazing how busy you are at this place.  There are three juice 'meals' a day, supplements to take in between (I'll save those for another day), Clysmatics (ditto), meditation and all manner of other gizmos.  But what you mainly need to know is that you really, truly don't feel hungry.  The Psyllium takes care of that.  And the other thing you need to know is that you really must drink plenty of water - particularly when detoxing in a hot climate like this.

For reviews of other detoxes see Queen of Retreats


Rachel Selby said...

I'm enjoying this - from the comfort of my armchair. Looking forward to the next installment. I hope they weighed you on day 1, you know I'm a numbers gal.

DD's Diary said...

I'm so glad you are doing this - so that I don't have to!! I'm with you in spirit all the way xx

Exmoorjane said...

@Rachel - I KNEW you'd like this! And yes, fear not, I weighed myself (knowing you'd want to know!) just in case they didn't. :)

@DD - ha! I can feel you with me at every juice and every Clysmatic! :) xxx

Rachel Selby said...

LOL, thank you. xxx