Not so social media

Hello online world.  Did you miss me?  Did you miss me at all?  No, thought not.  And it’s okay.  It doesn’t remotely matter. 

I’ve been in one of my bad places…possibly the worst one for a very long time.  One of those declines – oh, okay, let’s not mince words – it was freefall skydiving without checking you’ve got a parachute first.  Which is a really fecking stupid thing to do.  At first I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t get my fingers to type. Couldn’t do anything much really.  And as I sat at my desk, doing nothing, I watched social media drift by for a day or so.  And I wondered…what’s it all about?  What is it all about?

Yeah, I could have tweeted.  Yeah, I could have put out a ‘poor little me’ yelp on Facebook.  I could have written a ‘hug me’ blog.  But, you know, that’s not my style.  Anyhow at first, I really didn’t have the capacity.  And then, as the days went by, I began to wonder. 

Does anyone even notice if you’re not there? 

Bald answer?  No. 

I had to laugh really.  I was the online equivalent of the old lady in the council flat, lying on the floor being eaten by her cats.

I tell you, it’s a good lesson for the ego.  Bottom line, if you’re not out there shouting or wailing or emoting or waving your arms in the air, nobody notices.  And, let’s be honest, why should anyone?  We’ve all got so many ‘friends’, so many followers and followees, how on earth can we keep tabs?  Would I notice if one of my online *friends* wasn’t around for a week or so?  Probably not.  I’d assume they were busy or on holiday or just going ‘dark’ to get work done.  One shouldn’t take these things personally.  Yet one does. Stupidly. And I take first prize in stupid, I really do.

Social media does have strengths. It's a virtual water cooler. It’s great for wasting time, for procrastination – superlative in fact.  It’s incredibly useful for driving traffic to your business (if you use it right).  

Twitter can be fun. Sometimes it’s downright funny.  And I still hold that, if you look or if you get lucky, here are some gems of people to be found.  There is inspiration; there is information; there is interconnection.  And there are messages – there are always messages.

lonelypierot @ deviantart

But, but, but…is it any good if you’re low?  Now I am just not convinced by that.  Because when you’re way down low, when you’re really in the pit or hanging on the meat-hook or the black dog is slowly and methodically chewing out your throat, you don’t have the energy to make contact.  You watch people ‘being normal’, laughing, joshing, discussing minutiae or whatever and you simply can’t join in.  Because none of it makes sense.  It’s like they’re talking a totally different language. 

Anyhow, that’s it really…  Just an observation.  What do you think?   Maybe it’s just me.  After all, I just don’t talk about my “stuff”, not to anyone (though sometimes, in the very dead of night, I whisper in the SP’s velvety ear).  I know talking is supposed to help but hey…I’m not big on talking.  I did do a whole bunch of therapy many years ago but, when I think back, it was hilarious really - we would settle down in our chairs with the box of tissues between us and my therapist would tell me about her problems and then we’d spend the next hour brainstorming how to fix them.  Then I’d get up, hug her, tell her it would all be okay and then I’d say ‘thank you’ and pay her thirty quid or whatever. 

What a prize plonker, eh?