Shiny happy people...

I'm so clean, I'm squeaking.  I swear my innards are glowing. What was going to be a ten day juice fast turned into a twelve day one and, to be honest, it would have been the easiest thing in the world to have kept going.  But one has to come home at some point and so I broke my fast on the plane with melon, nibbling chunks from my little pot while the couple next to me chomped away on monster chicken rolls, crisps and KitKat.  No judgement there, by the way - each to their own.  Talking of that it did amuse a little that a few people got a bit aerated about my fasting.  Dark mutters of 'it's not healthy, you know' and 'you don't need to detox - it's all nonsense' were heard.  But hey, I'm not asking anyone else to do it, just reporting my experience.  And my experience was good.  The proof of the pudding (so to speak) is, for me, in the not eating.

I arrived in Portugal feeling pretty rubbish.  I was aching all over, not sleeping, feeling dizzy and generally out of sorts.  I wondered if it was menopause finally getting snarky with me and had gone as far as to buy some herbal remedies (which I promptly forgot to take with me) but swiftly realised it was simply that I had been putting crap in my body and in my mind.

By the time I left my aches had all gone.  I was sleeping like a kitten (early to bed, early to rise). The dizziness had vanished too.  I felt bright, alert and clear-headed.  Also - praise be! - my rotator cuff decided to sort itself out (or nearly sort itself out).  What else?  Oh yes, now I'm back in a room where I can actually see my face in the mirror (my room there was VERY dark) my skin is clearer and softer and my eyes are brighter.  I've shed about five kilos of very much unwanted weight and I'm standing taller and sitting easier.  My mood is improved about 500 percent too.

It's not just the juice fasting, of course.  The yoga played a large part - all three teachers were great but I learned tons about bringing yoga into everyday life with Drew.  Then, of course, I had two mind and body-blowing sessions with Anita that really rummaged around in the murky depths of my psyche, untangling a lot of messy knots and activating a shedload of suppressed energy.  She is an extraordinary therapist and a big high five to Moinhos Velhos for having the guts to employ someone who works so deeply.  I've been on a lot of detoxes and they've all been pretty good but it's people like Anita and Drew who make the difference here.  Of course, it won't suit everyone - the Moinhos experience runs on Om and dances to Shiva - if you like to keep it all more...clinical...then there are plenty of other detoxes to choose - see the selection on Queen of Retreats (where I'll be filing my report on MV).

Of course, you don't have to go to a dedicated retreat centre to detox.  I wrote my book The Detox Plan
to help people do a gentle detox at home.  It includes a very sensible month-long cleanse that can fit around the average working week.  Ouch, that looks like a sell, doesn't it?

I promise I'll shut up about this now (or very soon).  But, you know, what it does drive home to me is that so many issues can be cleared up with three simple things:  food, movement, clearing mind/emotions.  If you eat crap, you'll feel crap.  If you don't move, you get stiff and uncomfortable. If you don't address your core issues and mind hang-ups, it's odds on you will stay miserable.
Do you have to do a twelve-day juice fast?  Of course not. But if you want to feel a shedload better, I'd heartily advise looking at how you treat your body and mind.
Now, of course, the big challenge is to stay in balance.  As I've found, time and time again, it's easy-peasy to do this stuff when you're away from home and work with all its stresses and temptations. Once you come back, it's all too easy to slide back into crappy habits.  We shall see...

A tender process - tales from the yoga mat

So.  You may remember Tashi, the wonderful yoga teacher from Kaliyoga France?  Well, a while back, I asked her about the emotional and psychological impact of yoga for a feature I was writing.  And what she said chimed so deeply that I wanted to share it with you.  You know I love yoga - and it's not just because it's fun to turn oneself into a human pretzel.  For me, it's far more than that.  Tashi puts it far better than I ever could so I want to turn over this post to her words.  

Who knows, it could encourage you to try yoga yourself.  Of course, even better, seek out Tashi at one of her teaching retreats and experience her magic first-hand. Find out more here. 

Tashi: "Yoga is a systematic approach to living with awareness and sensitivity. Since being human is, and has always been, a mysterious and complex adventure the yoga scriptures offer guidelines for recognising how to develop and sustain this awareness. The key to practising yoga is methodical 'self-enquiry'.

When we go along to a local yoga studio or gym and practice physical postures for 90 minutes we are only exploring a fraction of the yoga teachings.  We find ourselves getting healthier and fitter, which is wonderful, but the critical aspect of 'self-enquiry' may be missing if the class is only concerned with physical proficiency.

That's not to say that the yoga postures are ineffective! The postures are an important part of the process of self-enquiry; the body is where we live, it's our invitation to feeling, to sensitivity, the entry point into witnessing the nature of life. If you want to know something about 'the world', the first place to look is within; it's where 'the world' springs from, where it's witnessed and it’s the point of origin of any experience we may share.

 

Looking inwards can be a tender process because we are made to see what is actually happening with naked clarity and we don't always like what we find. There is no sense in undertaking self-enquiry, however, with polite formality; we must get into the nitty-gritty of truth-telling with rigour and ruthlessness. Where else could we start but with the body which is our first and most reliable truth-teller, our cellular organic casing which we have carried through time and space, which tells our history and within which we have felt every action and choice we have ever made.

It's not uncommon for someone to feel tears flow during the relaxation stage of an asana class.  The process of stretching, twisting and moving the body reveals and opens our emotional, psychological and energetic blocks. We can be surprised by what we find lurking in our bodies and minds, and yoga invites a revelation which is not always comfortable. These tears and swells of emotion may be a physical release but it may be that we are simply glad to be at home in ourselves. A lot of our time is spent looking anywhere but inwards, we enjoy a myriad of distractions, entertainments and obligations - self-imposed or otherwise, we may feel fearful of what might be revealed if we stop, take time and reflect. We may be more interested to wonder about the inner world of others and how others might view us than what is going on inside ourselves.

The catharsis of self enquiry and the basic desire to understand ourselves intimately keeps us coming back to the mat day-after-day, week-after-week. We connect to ourselves by hugging the knees, holding the toes, softening the eyes, grounding the feet, lengthening the spine, opening our hips and perhaps, if we practice well, opening our minds."

Thanks, Tashi.  :-) 

Everything is not so bad

‘Everything is not so bad,’ said Daniel at Kaliyoga France.  Ostensibly he’s an osteopath and a reflexologist (whole body though, not just feet) but I suspect he’s a fair bit more than that – definitely a healer, maybe a bit of a shaman.  And, oh those eyes!  Those young/old wide open palest blue eyes.  He’d checked me over and found all the old kinks, even dug around in my abdomen and found the same gut quirk that had surfaced in Austria.  He adjusted a little here, a little there and then paused.

‘It’s here,’ he said, gently tapping my breastbone. ‘You’re locked right here... in the heart.’

Ah.  My poor heart.  It’s ever been thus.  For our bodies try, dear souls/hearts, to protect us, don’t they?  They build up a carapace; they armour us with wrenched tight twisted fascia.  And our minds play sidekick, quickly jumping in, alert to hurt, watching for a reason to doubt, to suspect, to withdraw.  And Body is more protective of Heart than it is of anything or anywhere else. 

‘People hurt you,’ whimpers Body.

‘Keep ‘em out,’ advises Mind.

‘Might be best,’ agrees Body.

‘Definitely,’ says Mind with a profound sigh of relief.

Yet at Kaliyoga everything was conspiring to open me up again, to blast away heart/mind/body’s carefully constructed defences. 

A series of yoga postures – opening, exposing, baring.  And I felt a giving somehow, a loosening. A silent tear or two.  And then chanting which, again, was all about opening, being, letting go of doubt and fear because, really (at heart), whether doubt and fear are true or not, they are not helpful.  Om Tare, Tuttare, Ture, Soha... The Green Tara mantra which protects against doubt and delusion, the wrong thinking that traps your heart. And Tayata Om, the healing mantra of the Medicine Buddha.  Gate gate, Paragate - passing the threshold, evolving into fearlessness.

Once you know something, you cannot unknow it.  You can never go back; you can never change back into something you once were. And change is not just inevitable, it is safe. It must be.  No matter what happens on the other side of the gate, on the other side of change.

‘Do you really believe that?’ said Mind.

‘Hell no!’ replied Body.

‘Give it a chance,’ whispered Heart.  

The writing on the boards...

Kaliyoga France.  Sun and space.  Mantras and meditation.  Yoga magic.  And words...every day different...but saying much the same...

Hmm...

True...

 *smile*

Follow me?

Really?

Yeah... :-)

Anyhow...if you want to see more pictures, check out my Facebook page - I've posted a  bunch there.

My stereotypical Swiss room-mate

So, I was all excited about going to Kaliyoga in Spain when I suddenly had a bad thought.  A big bad thought. You know how I am about sharing rooms with people on detox?  Well, to be honest, it goes beyond a dislike into downright phobia.  And it’s not just while detoxing; it’s sharing in general.  It’s not that I’m anti-social per se; it's just that I really really like my own space. Okay, so I’m kinda weird about my aura. 

So I checked and…aaaghhh.  I was sharing.  But, but, but…I spluttered.  In fact I begged, I whined, I prostrated myself on the floor and kicked my heels but they said, sorry, the retreat was full, there was no choice.  I nearly said I’d sleep in a field or up a tree but then remembered that Spain gets things like mosquitoes and wotnot so discretion was the better part of valor and so I just…fretted.

‘She’s a 47 year old Swiss woman,’ they said.  As if that would made everything okay.  When I shared this particular bit of information with my kettlebell group, they all looked a bit nonplussed. 

‘What are the Swiss like?’ asked someone. We debated it (while swinging into clean and snatch and hoisting ourselves into Turkish get-ups) and swiftly realized that our knowledge of the Swiss national characteristics was meagre.  Watches, skiing, banks, cuckoo clocks, mountains were suggested.  Toblerone got an honourable mention. Muesli came up. Cheese waved a flag.  What was the Swiss flag for pity’s sake?  Who were famous Swiss? 

‘Wasn’t Heidi Swiss?’ said someone else.  At which point I’m ashamed to say the whole class started yodeling and waving pretend pigtails at me.

‘How am I supposed to face this poor woman now?’ I said.

‘Wave a cow bell?’ someone suggested helpfully.  I despair, I really do. How we stereotype huh?

Anyhow, they got it all wrong.  My room-mate was actually an American (who just happened to be living in Switzerland at that particular moment in time) and you’d be hard-pressed to find someone looking less like Heidi.  She was absolutely lovely and, thank the gods of yodelling, the ideal room-mate.  Within the confines of our room, we passed one another like cautious ghosts, spectacularly polite and considerate. 

But, I don’t know about you but when I hear the word ‘retreat’ I suppose uppermost in my mind is going away somewhere a bit cut off, to be thoughtful, meditative, contemplative, or whatever.  All the retreats I’ve done have been solo; most have been either totally or majorly silent. So, quite apart from the room-sharing thingy, how come I spent my entire week at Kaliyoga talking and laughing my head off? Have retreats gone soft? Have I gone soft?

However, as the week progressed, I gradually realized that, actually, this was probably just what I needed.  I have been so isolated, so solitary (entirely of my own making, I should add) that all this interaction was probably good therapy.  Listening to people and their ‘issues’ and ‘challenges’ puts your own stuff into perspective.  Laughing gets the endorphins going.  And, as Lelly, our yoga teacher said on the first day: ‘Sometimes your yoga won’t be vinyasas in the yoga shala. Sometimes your yoga will be resting or sunbathing.’  And my yoga was all of that with an added dose of snorting.  

And yes, I was still able to slope off by myself when I needed to.  Okay, so not to my room (my usual place of refuge) but to a hammock or the wild flower meadow or to a squashy sofa in the boho living room.  I was often the first up and the last to bed, so found my privacy at the corners of the day.  And, standing under the stars, with the orange blossom heady in the dell, my senses reeled and I found myself tumbling out into everything, and everything tumbling into me…and the entire concept of being alone and separate felt suddenly suddenly quite quite …amusing.  

No more shit...

Life really does delight in biting you in the bum sometimes. So be careful. Don’t tempt fate. J

You know how the other day I was saying that you really should never ever ever share a bathroom when you’re detoxing?  Well.  I was due to head off to check out another detox in a few days’ time – this time not so far from home, in Somerset even. And it looked great.  A week of juice fasting – you know, just my game. Lots of yoga and Pilates and meditation. Yum.  Conveniently forgetting the twice-daily colonics bit.

And then, I get back and the PR gives me a call. It's kinda hard to concentrate cos Asbo is barking in my ear and wafting foul breath over me so I'm twisting in some kind of yogic contortion to get away from his sphere of influence.

But eventually I made out this:

‘Umm, we’ve been having feedback from journalists about this and, I should warn you…’ 

Er, yes? 

‘Well, you’ll have your own room of course…;

Er, yes?  Oh what?  WHAT? No! You know what’s coming, right?

‘But, see, you’ll be sharing a cottage.’

‘So, cutting to the chase, I’ll be sharing a bathroom with a stranger?’

‘Er, yes, basically.’

‘And this is the place where you’re supposed to do colonics on yourself twice a day, right?’ 

See, I can’t get away from the shit.

‘Oh, don’t worry about that; you’ll have your own board.’ 

Er, right. Just like I had my own rectal nozzle. Life is generous.

‘You’ll make a schedule. It’ll be fine.’

Well, I fear, to my shame, that I had a bit of a prima donna moment.  I mean, it’s one thing sharing a bathroom if you’re going to a budget b&b or camping or wotnot. But at a place that charges around a grand for a week?  Er, I don’t think so.  And, when you’re supposed to be toddling off every morning and afternoon to crap?  Great.

So I came off the phone and fired off an email to the organizers saying basically WTF?  And, hey ho, they got back to me and said… ‘Well, we were hoping to upgrade you but, as it happens, it’s all off now anyhow as the owners of the property have decided they don’t want any more journalists coming.’

So, that’s that. No more shit.  And at first I thought, there you go Jane – all your own fault for being such a fecking spoilt bitch.  For putting on airs and acting the big I Am.  Cos really, I never do that assertion stuff.  Ever.  Usually I’m just bloody grateful for whatever I get given.

But then again, who knows, maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe it’s for the best. The idea of twice-daily colonics was doing my, er, head in.  But I can’t help but feel a little disappointed.  Cos, no matter how much you tell yourself you can do the juicing at home, and the yoga and Pilates and meditation too, no problem – when it comes to it, you don’t, do you?  Not properly.  The dog barks, the phone rings, you have to work and clean the house and wash the clothes and so on, and then you fart around on the Internet and before you know it, your child’s home from school and priorities shift all over.  Then again, maybe that’s the challenge, huh?  

Puddle people, pseudo penises and Pinterest (repinned)

I’ve talked about Pinterest before so forgive another musing. But really, the more I use it, the more I prowl around, the more – odd I find it.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I still find it hugely useful.  I keep mood boards for my novels there and they jumpstart my imagination if it’s on go-slow. I have what I hope are inspirational boards for readers of my non-fiction books – lately I’ve been pinning seasonal recipes and lifestyle type stuff on The Natural Year board and adding more information on living as chemical-free as possible on The Detox Plan.

It also occurred to me that, while my Kindle books can’t have pictures, I can supplement them with boards. So I have recently started boards for the four little spin-offs from Spirit of the Home – Spirit of the Bedroom, Spirit of the Kitchen, Spirit of the Living Room and Spirit of the Nursery.  I loved this series – small books with lovely design that aimed, not to discuss decoration so much as the mythology, spirituality and energy of each room.

It’s also proving an invaluable resource for research.  I have a couple of non-fiction book proposals going to Frankfurt and Pinterest is the perfect place to stick all my research, so I’ve got images, information (and all the originating websites) neatly filed in one place. 

I see a lot of authors, designers and so on using it pretty much the same way.  But a lot of other people just…pin.  Madly, wildly, obsessively.  And weirdly.  Whatever you care to think of, someone will have a board dedicated to it. ‘Women inexplicably partially submerged in water’.  Yup, serious.  ‘People with big pictures of people’.  Oh yeah. ‘Garden hoses.’ That one’s a work in progress. 

Odd things are huge, just huge, on Pinterest. Tattoos obviously come to mind (there is even a tattoo category), swiftly followed by nail art. There are endless boards dedicated to cupcakes and subdivisions of cupcakes – people even have boards dedicated to a particular colour theme in a particular type of cupcake for cupcake’s sake. 

And slowly, you realize that, well…you’re simply not that special, not that unusual.  Your weird little idiosyncrasies – the ones you thought were pretty awesomely oblique, if not entirely unique – are…run of the mill.  Damnit, half of Pinterest is obsessed with the same shit. It should be comforting, I suppose, that you’re not the only one who has a ‘thing’ about…nah, I’m not going to tell you now cos I feel…kinda ordinary. J

It seems that, within the Pinterest demographic (and let’s be honest, it strikes me it’s a relatively a narrow demographic) everyone pretty much wants to go to the same awesome places and wear the same cool things and decorate their houses in much the same way.  And, by hell, everyone wants to be inspired – pretty much every Pinner has a board for inspirational quotes (I’ve got a whole blog brewing on that) and if everyone were as fit as their fitness boards and as bendy as their yoga boards, we’d be a world of Olympians.

Of course Pinterest has its underbelly and I confess I lurk around there a bit when all the ombre and neon and clean minimalism and perfect sunsets get a bit much.  And then I leave my jaw hanging pretty much on the floor as I discover I still have a morbid fascination (legacy of childhood) for really weird things like puddle people and possess a very infantile amusement at things that look like penises.  And then I just hang my head in shame and…laugh helplessly. 

I love yoga but...just...owwwwww.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, owwwwww.  I swear to God there is not one single muscle in my entire body which is not aching today.  Back, arms, legs, bum, shoulders, calves, neck…yup, they all hurt like hell.  Yesterday I went back to yoga after a long long break and hellfire I can feel it.

I do a lot of stretching and incorporate plenty of yoga postures (asanas) into my fitness regime but seriously, it’s nothing like doing a proper class.  Paul Cartwright is, quite simply, a great teacher and so when I was asked if I’d like to join a private 90 minute vinyasa class he runs here in Dulverton, I jumped at the chance.  But really…owww.  I’d figured I’d shake it all out at Zumba last night but when I pitched up at the hall, there was no thumping music; just a whole pile of vegetables.  Bloody flower and produce show.

Anyhow. By pure coincidence, I got an email yesterday from a friend who has decided she wants to take up yoga. What type should she do? What did she need to know?  So, let’s have a think. 

Yoga is one of the oldest organized systems of exercise known to humankind – at least 3,000 years old and possibly even older.  Yet it’s a system that seems tailor-made for modern times.  

On a purely physical level, yoga puts pressure on all the different organs and muscles of the body very systematically.  As well as toning the outer body (which it does exceedingly, nay, fabulously well) it tones the whole inner body too.   The precise postures of yoga work deep into the body, causing blood to circulate profoundly rather than just around the outside edge of the body, nourishing every organ and softening the muscle and ligament tissue.  The deep stretching is said to bring both bones and muscles gently back into their optimum alignment while lubricating the joints. 

Yoga can improve the oxygenation of your blood and boost your circulation.  It also helps your body to detoxify, as it encourages lymphatic flow (the “waste removal” system of the body).  Not only does your body detox when you perform yoga:  your mind does too.  The specific yogic breathing techniques (called pranayama) directly affect the nervous system, eliciting the “relaxation response” so you feel calm, cool and in control.  Allegedly.

If you practice yoga regularly you will almost automatically balance your weight and develop a leaner body.  Many yoga teachers also say that yoga can help improve will power:  people often find it easier to stop smoking or lose weight when they start yoga.  Concentration improves and most people report a deep sense of inner peace.

Yoga is totally safe - providing you find the right teacher and the right class.  However it is a powerful system and should be treated with respect.   One over-enthusiastic Iyengar teacher once pushed me way too far and I ended with a trapped nerve in my shoulder.  Another teacher was so bloody wafty and ‘new age’ she used to forget what she was doing in the middle of a series of asanas.  Go by word of mouth if you can and be prepared to try out a few classes and “shop around”.

If you have any health problems (particularly heart conditions, back problems, or if you have had any kind of surgery) you should find a very experienced yoga teacher or a yoga therapist.  Yoga is wonderful for pregnancy (I did classes with the lovely Sebastian Pole – founder of Pukka Herbs) but you will need to avoid certain postures.  Ideally, find a class specifically designed for pregnant women or have individual sessions with a yoga teacher or yoga therapist.

WHICH TYPE OF YOGA SHOULD YOU PICK?

Yes, I can...

To be honest, it doesn’t really matter.  I’d be more inclined to go by the teacher, rather than the type. Hatha yoga is the general name for the physical practice of yoga.  The majority of classes will simply call themselves by this name – or simply “yoga”.  However over the years many different approaches have sprung up.  Whichever type you pick, always start with a beginner’s class.  Yoga postures (known as asanas) are very precise and to begin with you will need a lot of individual attention. 

Here’s a brief guide to the most popular types of yoga and their approaches.

Hatha yoga:  expect relaxation, warm-up, postures, breathing and deep relaxation.  Many teachers will also include meditation.  Ideal for everyone and the most commonly available class.

Vini yoga:  puts emphasis on individual tuition and individual needs.  Safe, gentle and ideal for beginners.  Often taught on a one-to-one basis. A good introduction for anyone nervous about yoga.

No, I can't...

Iyengar yoga:  a very focused, precise form of yoga.  Teachers use “props” such as blocks and belts to help you into position.  Good if you want the benefits without too much “weird stuff”.  Not my game but is very popular.

Yoga therapy:  therapeutic form of yoga with a medical background.  Will usually offer classes for specific problems and conditions, ie back pain, arthritis, asthma, pregnancy.  Individual tuition usually available.  The best choice if you have a medical condition.

Sivananda yoga:  gentle yet pure form of yoga based around 12 key postures.  Has a strong spiritual element (often includes chanting and meditation). 

Dru yoga:  a very gentle, holistic approach which uses graceful flowing movement sequences.  Said to release negative thought patterns, energy blocks and deep-seated trauma.   

Ashtanga vinyasa yoga:  so-called “power yoga” which uses a specific breathing technique and sequences of postures carried out at far greater speed than other forms.  It’s an intense workout and not suitable for beginners. Paul does a variation of this called vinyasa flow (and also incorporates other types of yoga – many teachers blend their own fusions).

Bikram yoga:  intense and highly athletic, the yoga studio is heated to temperatures of 100 degrees to allow students to stretch that bit further.  Again, not ideal for beginners.

The British Wheel of Yoga:  www.bwy.org.uk

Needless to say, I rave about yoga in most of my health books.  Many are now available in e-format for Kindle (at a fraction of the hardback or paperback price). Check out my author page at Amazon here. 

Anyone for rejuvenation?

Right now I’m missing my favourite forms of exercise.  Classes close over Christmas; so does the gym.  No Zumba, no kettlebells, no supersets.  I love exercising with other people – it makes me work that bit harder; it pushes me; it gets my competitive edge going.  But, hey ho, needs must and if I’m thrown back on my own devices, so be it. 

Way back I said I’d talk about yoga and I will.  In fact, let’s start with Tibetan yoga.  Five deceptively  simple exercises that promise to give you vitality and wellbeing; longevity and rejuvenation. Nice huh?   I discovered them way back when and did experiment with them but never made them a regular part of my regime. Then MaSte talked about them in the Labyrinth, said he did them every day, and so I dug out my old book and had another go. They’re good; they’re damn good. Actually they’re damn tough to begin with but you can take them at your own pace and gradually build up to the recommended 21 repetitions.

Sooo.  What’s the story?  Legend held that a hidden monastery deep inside Tibet zealously guarded a secret of everlasting youth and remarkable rejuvenation.  Then, in the early part of the last century, a frail and elderly retired military officer, named Colonel Bradford, journeyed to Tibet in search of the rumoured “Fountain of Youth”.  He found the monastery and was surprised to find that the magical rites were no more than five simple exercises, based mainly on yoga.  They were easy to learn and only took only around 15 minutes a day to perform.  But the effects were incredible.  When Colonel Bradford returned to the West his friends simply did not recognise him - he looked half his age. 

How can such a simple routine prove so effective?  Esoterically speaking the five rites are based on balancing the chakras, the seven  swirling vortices of  subtle energy located roughly along the spinal column. They are also connected with various glands in the body. The first (lowest) chakra centres on the reproductive glands; the second on the pancreas; the third on the adrenal glands; the fourth on the thymus; the fifth on the thyroid; the sixth on the pineal and the seventh and highest on the pituitary gland.  The five Tibetan rites stimulate the flow of energy throughout the body and encourage the chakras to function at peak capacity.  Mind and body are brought into harmony.   When we are young and full of vitality, our chakras all spin at the same, very high, speed.  As we get older, stress, unhealthy lifestyle choices and emotional distress all take their toll and the chakras no longer work in harmony but start to spin out of synchronisation, eventually causing disease, decay and other symptoms of ageing.   The five rites are designed to persuade your chakras to click back into gear once more. 

But hey, even if you don’t believe in chakras, even if you’re making those little whirling circles with your forefinger round by your head (which, incidentally, is giving your crown chakra a mini workout) there is little doubt that the exercises would still have far-reaching benefits on both body and mind.  They provide the body with a programme of deep but gentle stretching that can help keep both the spine and its supporting muscles supple. 

They cost nothing to do and you don’t have to stir out of your living room.  Yes, some are tough to begin with but start off slowly and gradually build up strength and stamina.  However if you have a bad back or serious health problems, check with a qualified yoga teacher or physiotherapist before embarking on them.  They are pretty challenging for the back so take it easy until you build up strength.

THE FIVE RITES

Ideally, perform the five rites first thing in the morning as they are highly energizing.  Wear loose comfortable clothes and work on a yoga mat if you can.  Eventually you will perform each exercise twenty-one times.  However to begin with, aim for ten or twelve repetitions of each move.  Make sure you breathe fully during each exercise.  Allow yourself a few moments in between each rite.  Simply stand quietly, with your hands on your hips and breathe in, through the nose and out through the mouth.  Repeat and then move on to the next rite.

Once you’re comfortable with the rites you can perform them two or three times a day if you wish.

THE FIRST RITE:  Spinning.  Simply stand erect with your arms outstretched, horizontal to the floor.  Now, spin around until you feel slightly dizzy.  Make sure you are spinning clockwise, from left to right.  Don’t be surprised if you can only manage half a dozen spins to begin with - with time you will be able to build up your spinning.

Tip: before you begin to spin, focus your vision on a single point straight ahead.  As you begin to turn, hold your vision on that point for as long as possible and then refocus on the point as soon as possible.

THE SECOND RITE:  Lie on your back with your palms resting on the floor.  Inhale and gently pull your chin towards your chest (as if you were doing an abdominal crunch), at the same time as you point your toes and lift both legs straight up, keeping your lower back pressed against the floor.  Now exhale as you slowly lower your legs and head to the starting position.  Rest and then repeat. 

Tip:  this will be difficult unless you have very strong abdominal muscles.  Try lifting your legs in a bent position to begin with.

THE THIRD RITE:  Kneel  with the balls of your feet on the floor and your knees about four inches apart.  Place your hands behind you with the palms resting against the tops of your legs, just below the buttocks.  Keep your back straight, and allow your head to drop forward so that your chin is resting against your chest.  Now, inhale through the nose and arch your back, pulling your shoulders back, and lifting your head up and back.  This will open the chest.  Hold for a few seconds and then exhale and return to the starting position.  Repeat. 

Tip:  take in as deep a breath as you can, to expand your lungs fully.  Be careful and take it slowly.  Don’t overstretch or strain.

THE FOURTH RITE:  Sit with your legs in front of you, your palms on the floor and your fingers facing forward.  Rest your chin against your chest.  Inhale, and lift your buttocks and let your head drop back so that, in one smooth move, you’ve straightened your body from shoulders to knees to make a table.  Your feet should be about six inches apart, your knees bent at right angles and your chest and abdomen parallel to the floor.  Your arms are straight.  Contract the muscles in your legs, buttocks, and abdomen and hold for a few seconds.  Exhale, return to the starting position and repeat. 

Tip:  Keep your breathing steady and relaxed through this movement.  If you feel out of breath, stop and rest.

THE FIFTH RITE:  Lie face down, and push your torso up so you’re supporting yourself on your hands, as if you’re in an extended push-up/cobra position.  Both hands and feet should be about shoulder-width apart.  Only the palms of your hands and the balls of your feet should be touching the floor.  Tilt your head back and arch your back so that you’re looking up and ahead.  Now inhale and lift your hips straight up so your legs and spine are both in a straight line and your body forms a perfect triangle with the floor (downward dog).  Hold for a few seconds, then exhale and return to the starting push-up position and repeat.

Tip:   If you have back problems try a modified version:  start in the push-up position and then move your buttocks back as you inhale until they are almost resting on your heels.  Lower your head towards your chest and keep your arms straight. 

Actually, there is also a sixth rite.  But it’s all about transmuting sexual energy and I think we’ll leave that for a later date, eh?  There’s enough here already to be going on with… J

For more information read Tibetan Secrets of Youth and Vitality by Peter Kelder (HarperCollins)

There are plenty of demonstrations of the Tibetans on YouTube. Some (like the example below) are very fast and energetic. I have always performed them quite slowly, meditatively but I guess it’s up to you. This video shows them clearly but the chap demonstrating isn’t terribly aesthetic – though, of course, he’s not doing badly for someone who’s 150!   

If he’s too off-putting, try her instead… J  The stretches inbetween help a fair bit…

 

Move it, shake it (more weight loss shenanigans)

www.wisewellwoman.com

There is a whole host more to talk about with regard to food/not food, drink/not drink but let’s leave that to one side for the moment.  There was also another big factor or six that kicked my issues with food right into touch but I don’t want to scare you off too soon.  So let’s stick to the tangible stuff for now.  Baby steps, eh?

Next step (ho ho)...  Exercise.

Truly our bodies are built to move. We weren’t designed to sit at desks all day; to slump on sofas. If you want to be fit and healthy, to be strong and slim, you don’t just need to look at what you put into your body but also how you use it; at calories out as well as calories in. 

*sigh* Maybe in my next life, eh?  :)

I’ve had a love-hate relationship with exercise all my life.  When I was at school I used to dread Wednesdays with every ounce of my eleven-year old being. Wednesday meant gym and gym meant ritual humiliation in front of thirty-odd classmates. Try as I might, I couldn’t do a handstand, let alone a cartwheel (though, weird thing, I can do them perfectly in my head).  The vault could have been a skyscraper. None of it helped, of course, by having to wear thick navy cotton knickers (oh guys, come on! How could you do that to teenage girls??) 

So, despite being a pretty good squash player and quite nifty on the netball court; despite cycling up killer hills and doing extreme outdoor challenges in the mountains, I dubbed myself a failure at sport. I’m willing to bet I’m not the only one and that many of us cite school sport fear and loathing as part of the reason why we don't do any exercise at all.

BIG MISTAKE.

Seriously.  I said I wasn’t going to lecture and that I wasn’t going to tell you what to do but honestly, if you want to look and feel great, you simply gotta get moving. One way or another. I don’t care what you do – just do something!  C’mon, you don’t need me to tell you why. Exercise keeps our hearts and lungs working as they should and helps prevent cardio-vascular disease. Stress levels plummet after a good hard workout or game of sport (stress hormone levels are allowed to return to their resting levels and feelgood hormones are boosted).  Regular exercise helps control blood pressure; boosts our immune system; keeps a whole pile of diseases at arms’ length; soothes our sleep patterns and boosts our sex lives. Weight-bearing exercise can help stave off osteoporosis and so on and so forth.

And yes, if you’re using up calories with exercise it’s far easier to lose weight. 

If you Google my husband's name, this comes up!

Honestly, there really aren’t many good reasons or excuses for not exercising. A few health conditions make it difficult (and in some cases impossible) but generally a good fitness instructor can tailor a routine for pretty much anyone.  Some systems – like chi gung for example – can even be adapted for people who can’t get out of a chair. Can’t afford the gym or fitness classes? Walking, running, dancing, swimming in the wild, playing games with your children are all free. 

But anyhow, it’s up to you. All I can say is that it works for me. What I did in this past crazy year was to try out a whole bunch of stuff, to find out, for the first time, what I really enjoyed doing.  First stop was the gym.  We have a (tiny) gym here in Dulverton, literally two minutes from the house, yet I’d never been.  Why?  I dunno.  So I started getting my cardio fitness back on the bike, on the cross-trainer, the rower, the treadmill.  Got back to lifting weights.  It was tough at first but I took it slow, had a programme I followed, and gradually it got easier.  I'm lucky in that my mate Trisha works there and she loves nothing more than challenging us to do new stuff - like the form of extreme masochism that goes under the name of TRX and the frothy joy of super sets. Can I promise you something?  Gyms aren't scary. Really - not the good ones. And, as Frankie points out, you won't go bulky by using weights - it's a fallacy.

No! It won't! www.stumptuous.com - check it out

But I also love working out with other people, to music, so I added in some classes.  After a bit of trial and error (nope, I will never be a belly dancer and nope I still hate jazz so jazzercise is not an option; circuits are okay; Pilates so-so) I found the mix that worked for me. 

TRX - this is EVIL! But fun... :)

So now I do Zumba twice a week because it is, quite simply, the best fun ever. It’s a great all-body workout, sexy as hell, and it’s the one and only thing that has ever really sorted out for good and proper the back pain I used to get from spending most of  my day hunched over a desk.  Then I do Kettlercise twice a week too – usually outdoors by the river – because slinging a kettlebell is also great fun as well as a stunning workout and we have one helluva laugh.  Then, of course, I walk the SP and Exmoor isn’t exactly known for being flat so that’s a workout in itself.

Yes, I do a lot of exercise.  At least an hour a day; more if I can.  I’ll use any chance I can to get my body moving. On the rare occasions I cook or do housework, I shove on some dance music and fling myself around. On the rare occasions I watch TV I usually sit on the fitball and do a few weights while I’m there.  Or I get down on the carpet and plonk myself into Plank in front of the fire. J

Why? Because I enjoy it and I love how it makes me feel. I can get high as a kite on endorphins when I exercise. Crazy high. Better than any drink or drugs. Honesty also compels me to say I love how it makes me look.  Cutting calories in food will make you lose weight; it may make you slim. But exercise will make you toned.  And, by heck, do I love toned.  As I’ve said before, I don’t want a skinny body; I want a seriously strong, sensual body.  Working out has given me seriously toned muscles.  Go on, have a prod - my thighs are rock-hard!  Okay, so I’m not totally there yet – the washboard stomach is still more in my head than in my abs.  But one day…

What does my quasi-guru do? He's far more of a back to basics guy: he runs, swims and plays extreme Mario Kart with his son. Plus yoga (which is worth a whole post all to itself, so that is what it will get). Plus something else which we’ll talk about in more detail in a day or so... J 


btw, do read the comments - Frankie has added a lot of really useful links that you may like to follow...  Thanks, Frankie. xx